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:: S E A S O N  T W O ::

(Updated December 29, 2004)

(Thank goodness!)

The group BETTY have written the new theme music for Season 2. Band members also appear on a few episodes individually and collectively.  (**L Connection: You may remember BETTY's song "Atypical Love" from the movie The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls In Love starring Laurel Holloman.)

We also heard on the grapevine that the group Isle of Klezbos recorded a special Klezbian version of the theme music to be used during the season.

Also, Elizabeth Ziff, one of the members of the group BETTY, is now the musical composer for Season 2. She's been busy, along with Ilene Chaiken and actress Alyson Palmer, tracking the underscore for season 2 in Dubway Studios (NYC) with engineer Julian McBrowne.

Natalia Zukerman has also recorded some guitar parts for the show.


(Updated November 4, 2004) OK so finally here are the spoilers for the finale ep13 “Lacuna”:

* The random act at the beginning sees a young Melvin Porter at a Democratic Convention along with a woman named GLORIA STEINEM. They meet backstage where Melvin makes it apparent that they are having an affair. He wants to be with her regardless of the fact that he’s married and has 2 children. She feels differently and doesn’t want to hurt another woman. Meanwhile, we see that Maxine (Melvin’s wife) heard the whole conversation and stands there facing Melvin and Gloria with baby Bette in arms and Kit standing next to her.

* Jenny has started stripping. Not sure if it’s a career move or just a stint but we see her after a performance taking off her makeup. Shane enters and watches her without her knowing for a long while. Jenny tells Shane that she didn’t know she was going to be there tonight. I'm missing a few pages here but the next thing we see is Aimee is in the room with them, pulls Jenny to her feet by her hair and while ushering her out of the room, kisses her hard on the lips as they go. Shane watches them leave.

* Jenny and Aimee were apparently on their way to some weird party where she sees a wild assortment of characters. From the handsome muscular woman in chaps to three butch women with hormone induced facial hair impaling a spectacularly tattooed bald man with slender arrows. Suffice it to say, serious weird shit.

* We see Dana training in the Hollywood Hills (YAY location shoots!). Her new trainer, LUCIA, is throwing punches at her while she runs up the hill backward. As the jog Dana becomes distracted by Alice who pulls up in her mini. The following dialogue occurs:

Hey. Hi.

Hey. What's up?

I've been looking for you. I didn’t know where you’d gone.

Alice, I told you I was training this morning.

But you didn’t say goodbye. You could have woken me up, or left a note saying where you would be.

There's no reason for you to be worried.

Im not worried. It just would have been nice.
I missed you.

Okay. I'm sorry.
(awkward beat)
Look, Lucia and I --

Gotta get her in shape. You don’t want Mauresmo making her look like a pussy.

Meet you at The Planet? I’ll order you a smoothie.

I’ll be another hour at least.

I’ll be waiting for you.

After Alice leaves Lucia says

Wow. She really loves you.

Is that what that is?


Later on Dana is asleep and the phone rings. She answers it but there's seems to be no one there. We cut to Alice holding the phone…who quickly hangs up and starts crying.

* Regarding Bette and Tina, they are preparing for the birth of their baby. Seems as though they have gotten back together at this point in time. They have a birthing pool delivered to their house for Tina to use when giving birth. They start to fill the tank up when Davina, the midwife arrives. Tina’s contractions were coming at 7mins apart but then they settle back to 20mins apart. Tina’s water finally breaks and they move into the water tank. Later the baby’s head crowns. Later still, Davina tells them that the baby’s lost station and is not crowning anymore and that the baby’s heart rate has also dropped a little and she advises that they call their doctor. Bette rushes Tina to the hospital where they perform a C section to remove the baby.

* Marks girlfriend (I think she’s his girlfriend or maybe just a friend) LOLA comes over and bonds with Jenny and Shane. Jenny and Shane sing her the song LOLA. Jenny takes Lola’s hand at the end of the song, Shane immediately suspects Jenny is up to something and goes quiet. Jenny just continues to hold Lola’s hand looking deeply into her eyes while Mark and Shane look on. It states that Jenny’s look is so intense that Lola almost gasps. Later, when Lola goes to the bathroom, Jenny is coming out of her bedroom at that exact same time and they meet in the hall. Jenny shows her where the bathroom is, Lola enters and Jenny closes the door. Jenny thinks about it for a moment and enters after her. Jenny backs Lola up against the wall and kisses her hard (hmmm does this sound familiar to anyone?) Lola kisses her back and they share some passionate screen time. Then as suddenly as it started, Jenny pulls away and exits. Jenny goes back to her bedroom showing no emotion at all.
Later on, Lola gets all dressed up and Jenny takes her out to a concert. Jenny is dressed up very dominatingly; in latex dress and black thigh high boots.
After the concert, Jenny decides to take Lola to a weird assed party (with the same people from the previous party). There Lola meets some very strange people doing very strange things. Im talking people strapped to things, people being lashed, people bound to one another with metal staples and people having pictures carved onto their bodies. Lola freaks out and runs out. Jenny is about to chase after her but one of the people at the party grabs her thigh and bite it. Jenny seems to enjoy it. At this point can I just say in a Chandler kind of way “Can Jenny BE any more of a freak?” Poor Lola arrives back at Mark’s place where she asks if she can stay with him tonight.

* Tina attends Helena and her ex’s hearing. They discuss Helena using devious tactics (i.e. breaking into Winnie’s house and taking photographs of it) in order to try and win custody of the children. Winnie ends up winning the court case and we see Helena stating that its not the end of it. That they will be back in court very soon to settle the matter. Winnie’s lawyer turns out to be Joyce (who was Tina’s lawyer way back at the beginning of the season). Helena finds this out later and almost blames Tina for the loss in court because she had once represented her.

* Melvin has sadly passed away. People are gathering at The Planet for his funerals (what's with finale’s and funerals anyway?) We see that Bette’s assistant James is gay as he is there with his boyfriend. The girls from the band BETTY are there as well as Kit’s son David. Tina makes a eulogy thanking Melvin for “both of your beautiful daughters, and especially the one who completes her life”. Now at this point an unknown woman shows up causing quite a ruffle…personally I think its GLORIA from the random act at the beginning.

* Shane and Carmen’s big date. Shane goes over to Carmen’s house to pick her up. Carmen’s big family are all spread out in the living room with her mom making beans and rice and quesadillas. Carmen is all dressed up ready to go but is still spoon feeding one of her younger siblings in a high chair. What follows is a very cute dialogue:

Shane stands in their midst, a little uneasy but also enchanted.

Can you stay for a little? I can make more quesadillas.

Um, thanks, but --

Mom, we’re going to a concert.
Begonia. Eva’s finished her dinner. Take her upstairs for her bath.

(to Mrs Morales)
The concert’s over at 10:30. We might go out for a bite afterwards, but I’ll have her home by midnight.

Carmen laughs. Mrs Morales laughs too.


I might live at home , but I don’t have a curfew.

Gimme a break. I don’t go out on a lot of dates.


OK the following scenes with Carmen and Shane after they get back to Shane’s from their date had me literally ON THE FLOOR, so I must re-write it in its entirety:

Shane finishes screwing the cork out of the bottle of red wine, pours a glass for herself and one for Carmen. She hands Carmen her glass. They stand, face to face, looking into one another. Not breaking eye contact, they very lightly touch their glasses together. Still maintaining eye contact, each of them drinks – not a glug glug knocking back kind of drink, but a long slow drink in which you can feel the wine coursing through them.

Wine glass still in hand, Shane leans forward. It takes forever for her lips to reach Carmen’s. Even once their lips are touching, the kiss is still barely begun. They’re making it last, every little increment a development of mind blowing intensity. They kiss for a very long time, still without devouring.

Shane momentarily parts from Carmen’s lips, takes another long sip of wine, then leans back in to resume the kiss. As she kisses Carmen, she pours wine from her own mouth into Carmen’s. Just the tiniest amount trickles down Carmen’s chin. Shane keeps kissing her like that until all the wine is imbibed. Then, slowly, Shane starts to walk Carmen backward, never once breaking from the kiss, using the kiss to guide her across the kitchen, into the hallway, down the corridor, each of them holding her wine glass out to the side to keep from spilling. They arrive at Shane’s bedroom door.

(Note: This will be the longest kiss in cinema history, topping the Jane Wyman kiss of 3mins30sec from YOU’RE IN THE ARMY NOW by at least 2secs)
CAN ANYONE SAY OMG!!!!!!!!!????????

Shane and Carmen move into the room, still never breaking from the kiss. Shane closes the door behind them, propels Carmen to the bed. She takes the wine glass from her hand and, still kissing her, blindly places both glasses on the platform by the bed. With both hands now free, but still kissing, she eases Carmen down onto the bed. Kissing, ever kissing, she moves on top of her, takes her in her arms, presses her body into Carmen’s. They move together, still fully clothed.

Shane is on her back, naked, holding onto the headboard behind her head. Move down slowly until we see Carmen’s head between her legs. Carmen looks up at Shane. Whispers.

How are you?


So you don’t want me to stop?

(whispers more emphatically)

Carmen goes back down, and we pan up, until we’re very tight on Shane’s face. Her eyes close. They open. Her back lifts. She looks at Carmen. She lies back down and comes really hard. And as she does, her lips move. We can see them saying “I love you”.


Carmen kisses Shane tenderly. She rolls over and starts to get out of bed.

(DANG why do these scripts always end at really good bits???)


So there we have it folks…all the spoilers for the next season. Is it February yet???


(Updated October 30, 2004) Sorry its taken me so long to get these up. Here are the spoilers for ep12 "L'Chaim" (which is a Jewish toast that means "To life").

* Seems the writers have re-written Melvin moving into Bette's house. Well moved it into this episode instead. One of the opening scenes we see are Bette and Kit taking delivery of an electric adjustable hospital bed. Kit argues that Bette is going to be sorry for taking Melvin in. Bette replies by telling Kit that she couldn't just leave him in the hospital to die.  We find out that Melvin is dying from cancer and has about 4-6 weeks to live. Bette still holds out hope for him to recover while Kit has practically given up on him.  Later on, Bette talks with Franklin where he suggests that Bette take a leave of absence from the CAC to take care of her father. Bette agrees to think about it.

* Jenny meets Victor, a strip club owner and tries out for him/her.

* Alice, Dana, Tina and Helena go out to dinner with a group of girls, including a cute new girl EMMA. Helena shows off and flirts with Emma during dinner. When the waitress appears; we get this funny exchange:

Ask Lara --
(To Dana)
That's her name, isn't it? Your chef?
(Dana nods)
Ask Lara to give us a selection of
small tastes, anything she wants,
whatever she thinks is delicious.

(to Dana)
Your chef. Nice.

(to Alice)
I had nothing to do with it.

(to Alice)
Look, if you don't want me to go
out with her--

I have no problem with it.
I told you.

Helena keeps flirting with Emma. Emma suggests that Helena hire her to spy on her ex, as she's a surveillance photographer. Helena loves the idea and tells her that she will take Emma up to New York the next day and she'll show her all of the places her ex hangs out. Helena tells Emma she can stay with her in New York. Tina can't handle this anymore and asks Helena if she can talk to her. This is the conversation that follows:

I'm sorry, but this is not
acceptable to me.

I don't know what you're talking

I know we're both dating other
people, but when we're together, I
expect us to be together. I thought
that was the understanding, and if
it's not the case, I think I need
to know now.

It was never the case, Tina. We
were never "together". We were and
are seeing one another, but I don't
do "together".

* Meanwhile Dana and Lara go out on a date. They must all have plans to meet up at this new strip club run by Victor later that night. While Lara and Dana are together, Dana's phone rings. Lara's all "Isn't that your phone?". Dana seems uninterested in answering it even when she sees its Alice calling. Alice leaves a message telling them to try and get to the club early as it looks like its going to get very crowded.

* Inside the strip club, the girls are all gathering. Carmen arrives and makes her way through the crowd. Spotting Shane she goes up and sits with her. Carmen asks Shane if she's seen Jenny. Shane says no. Alice arrives at the table frantic. She's all worried because Dana is not answering her phone and what if she went back to Lara's and they are making love...or what if she got into a car accident and is lying on the side of the road somewhere. Shane and Carmen try and reassure her that Dana is fine but Alice doesn't listen and says she's going looking for her. Shane and Carmen share an exchange about what love can do to you. Carmen says she's going to look for Jenny as it was her that invited everyone here. But before she goes Shane calls after her and asks her out to dinner. It says Carmen looks at Shane as if she's just said something truly astonishing. Carmen asks "You mean like on a date?". Carmen smiles but before she can answer there's a drum roll and Victor takes the stage. He tells people to welcome a new dancer, Miss Yeshiva School Girl! Shane suspects immediately that it's Jenny and cant help smiling.


(Updated October 18, 2004) OK so the writing folk are always revising their scripts. Usually we aren't lucky enough to get our hands on them, but this time we got some.
Its all revised from ep11 "Loud & Proud":

* The random act at the beginning of the episode has changed. Its now about the character who later hands out the flyers at PRIDE...her name is Aimee. It takes place in the dungeoney club from later on. She is whipping another woman...really giving it to her. When the woman starts begging her to fuck her...she leaves the club...and leaves the woman begging.

* In regards to Bette and Tina, it gets a little confusing. The beginning of the episode sees Bette in hospital talking with her father's doctor. He basically tells her that he's going to die very soon and that there is no hope. Tina approaches and hugs Bette. She asks her if Kit is here. Bette tells her she is in her father's room. Later on, Tina brings Bette some food and fresh clothes. Bette kisses Tina as a thank you. Bette asks Tina is she will see her tomorrow. Tina says no...she is going to the PRIDE parade with Helena. Bette acts surprised. Tina tells her she is not going to stop seeing Helena and that if Bette cant handle seeing her under those circumstances, then she understands. Tina then tells her "One step at a time". Later on, we see Tina in hospital with Bette (presumably after PRIDE). Bette is asleep in one of the spare beds with Tina holding her. Tina tries to get away without waking Bette, but Bette wakes up as she is walking away. Bette asks her where she is going. Tina replies "Home". Then:

I can't do this Bette. I feel like
suddenly we're together again and
it's too soon. I was sitting there
thinking, what am I doing? I've
gotten myself so involved with
Helena, with you that I'm
forgetting myself. That I'm about
to have a baby. There are so many
things I need to take care of. So
many things I need to not lose
sight of. I can't be absorbed into
your world. I can't go back to
being invisible. It wouldn't be
fair to any of us.

Tina then leaves.

* When Alice and Dana loose Dana's little brother Howie at PRIDE...they come across him shirtless and dancing with a BUFF guy and with a cosmo in his hand. Dana gives him a stern talking to.

* We learnt from the last spoilers that Mark is invited to leave the house. But in this scene we see Mark come back into the house (don't know for what reason) when he finds a note from Jenny. It reads:

I've been thinking about the better
man you claim you've become. I
would love to meet him. If he
really exists, stay. Restore my
faith. It so badly needs it.

* The ending has changed slightly as well. They've moved Jenny's flashback to her rape to the end. She enters the dungeoney club with Aimee and she asks her what she wants done to her. Jenny points out the table with 4 ties. As Aimee straps her in...that's when we get Jenny's flashback. The scene ends with Jenny curled up on the table crying.


(Updated October 12, 2004) Here are the spoilers for ep11 "Loud & Proud":

* The random act at the beginning of the episode is of a young Jenny. She's at a carnival and is getting hit by a bunch of boys. Its all very weird...not sure if its for real or just from Jenny's head. An Orthodox man and woman come to her rescue where it then cuts to the inside of a synagogue. People around Jenny are praying. The Orthodox woman turns out to be Jenny's mom.

* Turns out that Melvin (Bette & Kit's father) is now seriously ill. So ill, that he's being moved into Bette's house so she can look after him. Well, so a nurse, Shelly, can look after him. Bette tries to come to terms with what happened to her father and struggles to deal. This also causes friction between Bette and Kit. Later in the episode, Franklin informs Bette that she can take an extended leave of absence from the CAC, but it comes off sounding like she's being fired.

* Dana and Alice invite Howie (Dana's little brother) to Pride with them. When they get there, Dana attempts to take Alice and Howie on the LGBT Center float with her. But the clipboard lady only lets Dana on. While Howie and Alice walk alongside Dana's float, Howie gets hit on by hot guys...Alice has to protect him and tell everyone that he's straight. Later on, Howie goes off with some guy. When Dana asks Jenny who it was, Jenny asks Dana "Isn't your brother gay?" to which Dana replies:

My brother is not gay. You know how
I know? Because I'm gay. I'm the
gay one in the family. We can't all
be gay.

They conclude that he probably just went home. At this point, a butch top dressed scantily in leather approaches them handing out flyers. She hands one to Shane, who looks at it and hands it back. Dana takes one, with Alice peering over her shoulder to read it. It says "Seven Stations of the Cross" an SM tutorial from A to Z. Alice and Dana share a moment. Alice motions to Dana to keep the flyer. The butch hands one to Jenny as well, they have an instant connection. Jenny flirts with her. Later in the ep, Dana and Alice turn up at the SM club, where they exchange witty and funny dialogue. They go in enough to look around and see what's going on. They decide its not their thing and leave.

* Shane and Jenny finally watch Mark's video that he has made. Shane comes off as someone grappling with having a good time but wanting love. Later in the episode, Mark moves out. Shane reveals that this is the first year she doesn't have something planned for Pride. So she invites Jenny to go with her. Once they get there, they are offered to ride with Dykes on Bikes. Shane is all up for it, but Jenny declines. So neither of them get on. Later at the Planet, after Pride, Jenny gets hit on by a tipsy woman, eventually kissing her but then leaving. Shane turns down another woman, and sees Jenny leaving. She tries to follow her out of the club. By the time she gets outside Jenny is gone. While Jenny is walking down the street, she bumps into the BUTCH TOP who was handing out flyers earlier. Butch top asks her if she wants to check out the SM club. Jenny goes along. Jenny flashes back to the first random act at the beginning of the ep. She ends up staying at the club as the episode ends.

* Helena and Tina attend Pride together. They hold hands while walking. At one point, Helena points out that she thinks something is on Tina's mind. Tina stops and tells Helena that she wants to see other people. Helena asks her if its Bette. Tina replies YES. Helena doesn't seem phased. She thinks its just Tina's sympathy for Bette's dying father and that the feelings will soon pass. They keep walking as Helena starts the flirting with other women straight away.


(Updated October 4, 2004) Here are the spoilers for ep10 "Land Ahoy":

* Mark wakes with a CLUB GIRL in his bed. He notices Jenny on one of his monitors. Jenny appears naked on the monitor in her room with a magic marker. She starts writing things on her body while looking directly into the camera. By the time she finishes writing on her body it says "ARE WE GIVING YOU WHAT YOU WANT?". Mark looks at another of his monitors which has a frozen image of Carmen and Shane on it. He pops open the DVD drive and finds the disk in there "Shane/Carmen Love Confession". Mark then runs to Jenny's room to confront her. Im missing most of their dialogue but the last part of it sounds like Jenny is trying to get Mark to do something to Shane that he doesn't want to do. Jenny threatens him.

* The married man Kit has been seeing is Benjamin (the business convention guy).

* Hilarious airport scene involving the girls getting ready to fly to the Olivia cruise. Jenny, Shane, Carmen, Alice and Dana are all in attendance. They are all getting ready to go through the security gates. Dana is super nervous for some unknown reason. Alice thinks its because of all the medication (seasickness pills etc) and tries reassuring her. They all pass through the gates. Shane gets singled out by the attractive security girl and sent aside to be "patted down". Dana starts hyperventilating and paces in circles. As Dana's bag is under the x-ray, Dana freezes. The guards pause the x-ray machine on Dana's bag for a sec before letting it pass through. Dana dives for her bag, trying to run off. But the guards reverse the x-ray and look at her bag again. The security guard calls over another one to consult. The carefully examine the bag on the screen, pointing to some unidentified object. They take the bag and start dismantling it. Holds up a thong, hair dryer, makeup, shampoo, toothpaste, medication. Alice tries to console Dana. He pulls out a bottle of "Astroglide". Next he pulls out her "big, veiny, been-to-the-gym dildo". He rotates it, looking at all sides, bends it. Everyone looks at Dana. Dana covers her face with her hands. The security guard then pulls out a dildo harness. Holds it up, baffled. The second security guard shows the first one its function. They then pull out a pair of leather wrist restraints. Dana peers from between her fingers and then covers her eyes again. They then pull out a chain with metal clips on either end. He holds them up. Carmen explains that they are nipple clamps. They shake their head no, that Dana wont be allowed to take this one on the plane with her. They confiscate it.

* Melvin (Bette & Kit's father) collapses in a restaurant.

* At the Beverly Wilshire Hotel Tina is honoured with the community activist award. Helena is sitting with Tina, while Bette is at another table. As Tina is about to receive her award, Kit rings Bette to tell her about her father collapsing. Bette immediately leaves. As she gets her award, Helena pulls Tina into a flamboyant, proprietary kiss. As Tina goes up to accept the award, she notices that Bette is not there. She hesitates, looking around the room for her.

* Later on the Olivia cruise, Alice and Dana tumble through their room's door. They are frantic to get at one another. They kiss hungrily. Alice yanks off Dana's jacket. I have to transcribe the dialogue here cos its hilarious (for those that don't know what they are referring to here...its LOVE BOAT):

Finally, Captain Stubing. Come on.
I want your big dick inside me.

Oh Julie. I hope my wife Marion
Ross never finds out about this.

Marion Ross was the actress. The
character's name was Emily.

I hope my wife Emily never finds
out about this. But I've been
wanting to put my big dick inside
you since the first moment we set
foot on this ship.

Alice fumbles at Dana's trousers., finally gets them unbuckled. She hoists up her own skirt, reaches inside Dana's pants, takes a hold of her and starts to pull her in. Everything is going swimmingly until --

Oh, no.


Dana stands back from Alice. She looks completely green.


(Updated September 18, 2004) Seems the folks up in Vancouver went for a little adventure across the US. We heard reports of the gang shooting exteriors in LA and NYC. I don't know if that is one of the reasons we've had to wait extra long for these new spoilers or whether its due to something else, but we've also had an episode missed.
So sorry folks, we'll have to wait til next year to find out what happens in ep 208. But for now...its on to ep 209; Late, Later, Latent:

* Not much in the way of Shane. All I know is that she is sent to work at some big Hollywood premiere, not sure what she is doing there job-wise. But Shane finds out its for VERONICA BLOOM (played by Camryn Manheim).

* Kit has been seeing a married man. Bette is not very approving. Kit arranges to have dinner with him at The Planet later in the episode but he calls to say he can't make it. Kit, distraught, decides to go to an AA meeting, where IVAN is leading. Kit tells everyone at the meeting what happened. People show their support to Kit and she starts feeling better.
Later on, Ivan takes Kit to a club called 49 DEUCE. There we meet IRIS, Ivan's girlfriend who works at the club as a dancer. Kit is critical and skeptical about Iris. All 3 sit down, where they share an uncomfortable moment. Finally Iris asks how Ivan and Kit know each other, to which Ivan answers before Kit can say anything. She tells her that they have a business relationship due to The Planet. Iris nods saying she knows the place but that its mostly a lesbian hangout and that she doesn't really hang with lesbians. Kit is offended and asks them "And what are you two?". Ivan glares at Kit. Iris then leaves saying that they seem to have unfinished business. Ivan asks Kit what's bugging her. Kit replies with "I'm just surprised, I guess. Wouldn't have figured a girl like that for your type" to which Ivan replies "I don't have a type. Remember, I like to defy definition."

* Jenny is off writing some story on someone called BURR.

* Dana and Alice have a hilarious scene in which Alice drags Dana into a SEX SHOP. Dana is overwhelmed, while Alice looks comfortable and teases Dana. They look at dildos and harnesses. When Alice asks Dana why she's being so uptight, Dana replies with "Cause this is gross. I can't deal". When a group of women walk into the same store and Dana recognises one of them, Dana faces the wall and tries to sneak out. Dana then comes back to the store later in the episode by herself.

* Bette and Tina share a tender moment as they watch their baby on a monitor at the doctors office.

* Carmen and someone (I personally hope its Shane) have a scene in which Carmen says: "If you don't take any risks you might as well be dead! What have you got to lose?". They then stare intensely into each others eyes, with Mark watching all of this on his hidden cameras.

* Tina and Helena share a phone call in which things between them seem a little chilly. Helena asks Tina to come over to her place that night and have dinner. Tina says she doesn't know...what if she has another hormonal fit? Helena apologises for her behaviour and says it was uncalled for. Tina then accepts the dinner invite. Later they share a candle-lit dinner at Helena's.

* Small note for people waiting for news of Lara's return. There's a small mention of someone called Lara in this episode. Its when Kit is preparing for her special dinner with her married man. Kit asks the waitress if everything was going ok in the kitchen, to which she replies:

"Its going to be perfect, don't worry.
Lara's working her magic"

Now don't get your hopes up too could just be another chef called Lara...hmmm


(Updated August 27, 2004)  finnyball from the Television Without Pity Forums posted this:

Shooting on the Santa Monica Pier yesterday, cast, crew and onlookers were treated to a JAW DROPPING kiss between Dana and Alice. They were FANTASTIC!

We suspect this is the Carnival scene between Alice/Dana/Tonya/Chris.


(Updated August 17, 2004) Its that time again. Spoilers for episode 207 "Luminous" are here.

* Tina and Helena are pretty much established as being a couple. There are several scenes with them "together". One of them being in Helena's Penthouse, where they lie around naked, until Winnie, Helena's ex walks in. An awkward scene then takes place with Tina wanting to leave, Winnie wanting Tina to leave but Helena insisting she stay. Tina eventually leaves with Helena glaring at her. Winnie and Helena then fight about their children, as Helena was meant to have them back to her, while Helena was going to keep them an extra day to take them to Sea World.
Later on we see Tina and Helena getting on Helena's private jet in San Diego. After they board, Helena asks Tina if she's done this in a plane while its taking off. Tina asks what. Helena positions Tina on top of her in an unmistakably sexual way. The scene ends with them kissing.

* Bette meets Leo (the guy hired to help with the fund raising at the CAC), she is quite hostile towards him. She finds out that he is quite tight with Helena Peabody as she helped him and his partner adopt their Chinese baby. He asks her if she's dating anyone at the moment and tells her he met Tina the other night. He also tells her that Helena and Tina are excitedly awaiting the birth of Tina's baby. At this, Bette becomes furious and makes a phone call, to someone I can only assume is Helena, in which she tells her not to go around discussing their private lives with Leo.
Bette later visits the apartment of Leigh Ostin, a potential artist for the CAC, who makes beautiful mobiles. Bette flirts openly with Leigh until Valerie, Leigh's girlfriend, walks in. Bette is embarrassed and invites them both to The Planet where Sharon Isbin will be performing.
After the performance an old friend of Bette's, Meryl, comes over to let her know that apparently she's been "meat tagged" by every chick in the place. Apparently that means they've marked her as a new hot item now that she's single. Meryl then proceeds to ask her out, as she wants to be the first in line.
Cut to later on, Bette is out on a date with Meryl. Bette accidentally brings up Tina. Meryl asks if this is the first date she's been on after breaking up with Tina. Bette answers with "I don't even know what a date is anymore". Meryl admits the first ones never last (first ones who date after a break up) and that she's happy to just be the rebound girlfriend.
Towards the end of the episode, we see that Bette has purchased a mobile from artist Leigh Ostin (Im assuming its for Tina's baby), as we cut to Tina and Helena taking off on the plane.

* Im confused by this but apparently Jenny might be now working for Bette at the CAC.

* Kelly, the flower girl from the previous episode, is back. Mark continues monitoring and recording the activities of Shane and Jenny.

* There's some weird scenes with Shane and Veronica, her new producer boss. One scene has Shane taking care of Veronica, as she seems sick.
After that Im missing some scenes, but the next time we see Shane she is apparently "fucked up" on something. She interrupts Jenny and Carmen kissing in the kitchen as she goes out to get snacks for her latest conquests; a set of TWINS. As the twins run out to help Shane, Jenny and Carmen are a little thrown off. Shane goes back to her room with the twins after getting the snacks. Jenny and Carmen are left speechless. But its enough for Carmen and tells Jenny she really likes her but that they should probably cool it for now.
Later we see Mark watching the footage of Shane with the twins through his monitor, in which we see Shane totally disinterested in them.
Later on in the episode we see Mark frantically looking for Shane and spots her being thrown out of a bar. Shane takes a swing at the bouncer and visa versa. Mark comes to the rescue and takes her away. Shane is still "fucked up" on something and makes Mark swear not to tell anyone about what happened. She ends up with a mighty fine black eye.

* Alice prepares a nice home cooked meal for Dana. After the meal there's awkwardness as they talk about what they should do next. Dana suggests they get up from the table. Alice leads Dana into the living room. The spark between them is reignited.  Alice leans in and kisses Dana. In the script it actually says
"They kiss. Kiss. Kissing. Kissing"

* Jenny writes one of her weird "Im a freak" circus story for her class with Charlotte.

* It is mentioned that Kit is now seeing Benjamin, the conference self help guy from previous episodes.


(Updated August 16, 2004) According to this recent interview, Camryn Manheim she states that she has filmed 3 episodes of The L Word.


(Updated August 12, 2004) There have been some slight changes and additions to the last episode (sheesh writers *rolleyes*) here they are:

* Right before Mark decides to call in his "friend" Kelly for a special delivery to Shane we actually see Carmen and Shane playing with the lost puppy that Jenny found, on Marks secret monitor. Gomey snarks that he can always use the footage on Animal Planet. That's when Mark decides he'd rather "make" things happen then wait for them.

* Mark's friend Kelly has now changed from being a Fed-Ex girl to a flower delivery girl and has slightly more interaction with Shane than before. It also becomes clear that Mark has some sort of vested interest now in Shane as he zooms in on her in the "make-out with flower girl scene" because he "wants to know what she's feeling".

* Charlotte gives Jenny an assignment in which she has to try and not talk for the rest of the day (this should be a good episode ;) )

* I have a tiny bit for all you Alice/Dana fans. As flower delivery girl is leaving Shane's place Alice is walking up on the cell with Dana where she says the following:

Like this, Dana: I. Don't. Want. To. Marry. You. And presto! It's done! Ugh!

You make your own interpretations people =D


(Updated August 8, 2004)  They were a little late bringing these not my fault this time.

Ep206 "Lagrimas de Oro" spoilers that I have (please take into account that I only get a fraction of the spoilers per episode, so this is by no means complete and that I have to interpret some of the spoilers that I do get):

* Benjamin (the guy who ran the business convention that Kit attended in the last episode) is the flashback at the beginning of the episode. It is set 3yrs ago and he and his wife sit in a therapist's office, discussing their marriage problems.

* The Jenny/Shane/Carmen love triangle deepens. Carmen has obviously given up on Shane and her womanising ways and has turned her focus now onto Jenny. Shane and Carmen obviously still have chemistry as they share a moment, right before Jenny walks in on them, making them act they have been caught doing something they shouldn't have, but weren't. Carmen and Jenny later find a lost puppy and try and locate its owner. While handing out flyers, the owner finds them with the puppy and takes it. Jenny is all sad because she secretly wanted to keep it. At this Carmen asks if they should kiss. Jenny nods and they kiss, its sweet, long and lovely.

* Our new boy Mark brings out his video camera (is he still making a documentary on living with lesbians?) at a small get together of some of Shane's friends, where he asks them questions about who they would make out with. Later on in the episode, Mark either gets bored or frustrated because he calls in his friend Kelly to help spice up the "reality". She turns up at Shane's door as a Fed-Ex lady with a vibrating delivery. Shane and Fed-Ex lady get it on while we see Gomey and Mark savouring it up on the hidden camera's monitor. Mark later meets up with Kelly to pay her, saying that they'll make a fortune out of this video. Kelly tells Mark they shouldnt do it because it might upset Shane. She claims Shane was nice to her. It is suggested that Kelly has fallen under "Shane's power". Kelly is a little unsettled and disappointed when Mark hints that Shane sleeps with lots of chicks.

* Bette, who has been having trouble raising funds for the CAC, finds out that Franklin has hired a new fund raiser without her permission. Bette later attends a seminar run by Benjamin with Kit.

* Signs indicate that something might develop between Kit and Benjamin.

* Towards the end of the episode Tina and Helena attend some sort event at a restaurant. Helena sits at the head of the table, while Tina is seated waaaay down the other end. Signs indicate that Helena is ignoring Tina, as Tina tries to gain her attention during the evening. Later Helena exits and calls Tina on her cell phone.

Sorry folks that all I have for this Im afraid. I guess its good not to know too much ;)


Rachel Shelley has been added to the cast. She will be playing the lesbian daughter of Peggy Peabody, Helena.



(Updated August 3, 2004) Gary Jones will be playing the part of Dana & Tonya's business manager "Eric Beetner" in ep3 (there is talk that his character might be re-occurring)

(Thanks Scout)


(Updated July 28, 2004) Wonder what they'll be doing with this object in Season 2.

It was found on a website (thanks Becca) that makes and sells these Vulva Puppets and it states:

(each puppet apparently has a different name) was sold to the producer of the "L" Word, she will be appearing in the 2nd season.


(Updated July 25, 2004) Ok so I've been bad and have neglected to put up the new spoilers. Have finally gotten around to it today...sorry for all those that have been waiting.

Ep204 "Lynch Pin" spoilers that I have so far:

* The episode begins with Shane and Jenny interviewing for a new roommate...there's a really funny montage of the potential candidates, which include FEEF a bubbly energetic 20-ish nymph, EWAN a gay guy who insists on always being naked when at home, ZOE a drummer who drums when she cant sleep at night, DEENA an obsessive compulsive, SALLY who freaks when she finds out they are lesbians...they finally settle upon MARK WHEELER (played by Eric Lively). It is made evident that Mark is a bit of a techie...he has tons of video equipment.

* Tina is still upset with her breakup with Bette and breaks down in Bette's bathroom when she has to go and collect some of her things, with the help of her friend Joyce. Joyce later in the ep kisses Tina, Tina refuses to get into anything with Joyce. It is also made evident that Tina IS indeed already pregnant.

 * Kit attends a "Workshop for business Owners" convention, where she meets Benjamin, the guy running the convention, who then tries to help her with her business.

* Bette travels up to New York to meet Helena Peabody. She has a hard time trying to convince Helena to continue her support of the CAC. We are then introduced to 2 of Helena's children (they sound like they are adopted). Bette tries to go talk to Peggy about her daughter to no avail. Bette then depressed goes to the MEOW MIX (a well known NY lesbian bar), where she proceeds to get drunk. She picks up some random 25 yr old girl and takes her back to her hotel room. We see them kiss and get onto the can assume they end up spending the night together.

* Shane gets a job on a film set helping out with the hair. The temperamental lead actress flips out and refuses to continue with the film. Shane talks and calms the lead actress down, getting her to continue with the film. Veronica Bloom, some sort of film producer, spots this and calls Shane to her office/trailer. She then proceeds to offer Shane a job as her assistant of sorts (someone to accompany her to important meetings and talk to people when things get tough).

* Alice goes on a double date, set up by Tonya, with her friend Chris (who turns out to be male), at an amusement park. While Tonya and Chris go off on another ride, Alice and Dana take a break. Dana makes it clear that she's jealous of Alice and Chris. Alice then asks Dana what she wants. Dana grabs Alice, pushes her against the side of the shooting gallery and kisses her.

* Shane and Jenny throw a small house-warming party. Alice and Carmen and a bunch of Baby Dykes are there. Shane is with a new girl called Lisa, we see Carmen hurt and jealous a little but pre-occupies herself with Jenny. They all eventually make their way across to Bette's pool and strip down for a dip. Mark and his friend Gomey also join in on the fun.

Ep205 "Labyrinth" spoilers that I have so far:

* The random act of sex at the beginning involves GOMEY (Mark's friend) who is a security guard. He spots 2 people having sex in a stairwell on his TV monitors...he promptly calls Mark and tells him what's happening.

* Kit and Tonya bond. Kit being a new business woman sees the great business sense that Tonya has.

* It seems as if Shane has made Jenny over. We see them both walking down the street together. Jenny is described as having shorter hair, a sharper attitude, hip clothing and an easy strut (sounds like Shane has gotten to her huh?). A cute young dyke then proceeds to check Jenny out as they walk past. Shane seems pleased with herself.

* It seems that after Tina's friend Joyce tried something on Tina...Tina has had to move out. She is back at Bette's house, so Im assuming that she had nowhere else to stay. Bette proceeds to bad mouth Helena Peabody to Tina.

* Dana and Tonya get some sort of Condo...not sure if its permanent or just temporary. As they are unpacking, with Alice there also...Tonya's parents enter. Tonya introduces Alice to her parents, as Dana's best friend. Tonya's parents invite Alice to Universal Studio's the next day but she mentions that she can't because she's busy with the gift baskets ( its safe to assume its for the bachelorette's party). The next day when Tonya's parents go to Universal Studios, they must also take with them Tonya, as Alice and Dana are left all alone to do the gift baskets. The later end up making passionate love on the floor. Tonya and her parents return to find them hard at work packing the gift baskets.

* Shane gets taken out to her first job with Veronica. They go with some other film producer to see a woman who is a prostitute, who obviously has an amazing story to tell and won't sign the agreement to make her life into a film. After many failed attempts, Shane is left alone with the woman. In the next scene we see that Shane has succeeded in getting the woman to sign, with the condition that Shane work with her on the film.

* The end of the ep takes place at Dana and Tonya's bachelorette party, so we can assume the wedding is still going ahead. We see Bette and Alice dancing and consoling each other. Bette then proceeds to make a toast and then leaves....with Alice following her. Tina looks after them...Helena comforts Tina, putting her arm around her and then pulling her in for a long slow heady kiss. It says they have a definite connection as they pull apart.

* The very end sees Shane bring home another random girl. But we see that Mark has planted many hidden camera's inside the house and is watching Shane. Through the monitors we see that something is wrong with Shane. She's not feeling what she should be feeling. She's not feeling at all.


(Updated July 20, 2004)  Jane Lynch is now set to join the cast. She will be playing Barbara Lynch, a gay civil rights lawyer who helps Tina with her separation from Bette.. Heres an excerpt from a recent interview:

"I’m going up to Canada tomorrow to do three episodes of “The L-Word.” I’m going to play a flamboyant old school dyke lawyer, real butch, that wears the men’s suits and smokes a pipe. I’m so excited."


(Updated July 19, 2004)  Eric Lively ("A Minute With Stan Hooper") is set to join the cast of The L Word for its second season. He'll play the new roommate of Mia Kirshner's character (Mark Veleman/Wheeler).


(Updated July 4, 2004) Episode 203 is entitled "Loneliest Number" and heres some spoilers from it:

* Kit re-opens The Planet as a funky night club in which Betty Rules! (they try to get PINK first) performs (funny that, since Ilene was just at their performance) and Carmen takes up DJ-ing at the club.

* Shane and Jenny have well and truly moved in together by this episode (quick moving there). Something that comes out of this ep (to me anyways) is that Jenny and Shane might have a few romantic entanglements...and NO I don't mean with each other....but at the end of the ep...when Betty Rules! are performing at The Planet, Shane gets pulled up on stage by a chick in the group who fancies her and starts kissing her...Carmen and Jenny are watching from the front row...Jenny suggests they go someplace quieter...when they get there...Carmen kisses Jenny goodbye. Jenny says it would be nice to do something together sometime. Carmen agrees...but the second Jenny is gone Carmen is still looking out for Shane.

* Bette is involved in a car accident (don't worry its not serious) but makes Bette very trembly in this episode...and the smallest thing sets her off.

* Someone named Joyce offers Tina a place to stay after Tina says she's "been living off a friends couch for a month now".

* Tonya starts organising the "first corporate-sponsored celebrity lesbian wedding" of the millennium. These are her plans:

- White Subaru, dragging Wilson tennis ball cans, to carry them off
- Simultaneous covers on The Advocate and Bride Magazine, each with a back page Absolut Vodka ad "Here's to a marriage NOT on the rocks"

Also turns out Tonya will be getting a 15% manager's fee for all this.

* Tonya also suspects Alice's interest in Dana (and Shane finds out by guessing) and so she plans to set her up with her friend they can double date


(Updated June 28, 2004) The cast will be filming on an upcoming Olivia Cruise.


(Updated June 27, 2004)  Summing up the spoilers in episode 202 "Lap Dance":

The Planet has closed down and Kit tries to buy it but is denied a loan from the bank. Bette tries to help her financially...until Donatella Ferrer (yup you guessed it, Marina's mom) breezes into The Planet and signs over the deed to Kit for some cash...Something happens between Ivan and Kit. From what I can gather, Kit sees Ivan naked, Ivan then flees in embarrassment. Kit tries to track "him" down.

In a very funny few scenes (until Kit gets The Planet) the gang have to make do with *gasp* Starbucks *gasp* for all their coffee needs. Be on the lookout for a hilarious scene between Shane and Alice...where Shane is suddenly so confused with Starbucks menu that she needs Alice's help deciding what to get.

We (and Jenny) find out that Robin has been briefly married before, to a woman who cheated on her on their wedding day.

Tina goes to a lawyer to sort out her separation from Bette...and yes it involves financial stuff.

Jenny starts a new writing course taught by Charlotte Birch (played by Sandra Bernhard).

At this point Tonya is still well and truly still in the picture and makes a pain of herself by bossing Dana around.

The gang decide to take Tina out for a lap dance to cheer her up. Shane rejects a cute waitress and the stripper who lap dances Tina looks alot like Bette.


Ion Overman recently answered this in a questionnaire for her Unofficial website:

To your knowledge, will Candace return next season and for how many episodes? If so, can you share the direction in which the show plans to take the Candace character and/or in what direction would you like to see the character go?

"I don’t know if Candace is coming back. I haven’t been contacted. I don’t know what Candace’s place could be since she has caused so much turmoil. But I suppose anything could happen."

We are unsure as to the meaning of this, as she is still featured in the writing scripts for Season 2.


(Updated June 24, 2004)  - This was posted up on the official Sandra Bernhard website:

Hot Things Are Getting Hotter!
Sandra is joining the cast of Showtime's hit series "THE L WORD"


(Updated June 23, 2004)  - Tammy Lynn Michaels has been quoted in the latest issue of CURVE magazine with the following:

How was working on The L Word? Was it fun?
Oh my God, it had to be one of the loveliest experiences I have had on a set. A bunch of really warm, caring women, filled with respect for the stories they were telling. It was incredibly enlightening. It gave me so much hope to watch all these straight chicks dive at each other with lust and respect and understanding. It was awesome. It was really amazing. They're such great girls.
Will you be back?
They asked me to be back this year. I will hopefully be doing two more.


(Updated June 13, 2004)  Sharon Osbourne's walk on role will be playing herself. Shane comes to do her hair before one of her TV appearances. This is where Shane meets Carmen. Sharon kind of nudges Shane in the way of Carmen.


(Updated June 8, 2004)
  After reading parts of the script for episode 201 ("Life, Loss, Leaving") we are able to bring you some new spoilers.

Episode 201 apparently takes place the day after the finale happened.

We know that Bette and Candace are still together as they wake up in bed with each other the next morning. Tina, according to Alice, has just been crying all that night. But by the end of the episode Tina tries to become pregnant again by insemination.

Shane is introduced to Carmen (made a regular character), a 20yr old Production Assistant. Shane and Carmen get it on only to have Shane go cold on Carmen. In what is likely to become an "on again - off again" relationship, Shane and Carmen dance around each other, with Shane obviously into Carmen but afraid to commit for fear of getting hurt again.

We know that Tim leaves by the end of this episode, after a brief last roll in the sack with Jenny. Gene and Robin still seem to be in the picture, it is unclear, however who she is actually WITH.

Marina tries to commit suicide (by taking 3 bottles of pills) after a nervous breakdown. She is saved and hospitalised.

Tonya and Dana go ahead with their wedding plans, whilst Alice (who has since taken up knitting) needs to talk to Dana.


(Updated June 6, 2004) After reading part of a script for later in the season we now know that a new character will be introduced, Mark Wheeler. He is somehow friends with Shane and Jenny....who by this stage have moved into a house together as roommates. Mark has the brilliant idea that he wants to document on camera the lives of Shane and Jenny (as roommates) for a new reality TV show called "Roommates"


(Updated June 4, 2004)  After reading parts of the script for episode 204 ("Lynch Pin") we now know that Peggy Peabody has retired as head of the Peabody Foundation and that her daughter Helena takes her place, who will become a series regular.


(Updated June 1, 2004)
Filming is set to begin June 16, 2004 and is slated to end November 22, 2004.


(Updated May 27, 2004) 
Robert Greenblatt made mention at the recent Museum of Radio & Television seminar in New York, that we can expect the 2nd season to air sometime around Valentine’s Day next year. That pushes back the air date a further month than we expected.

He also said that the 13 episodes for season 2 are already written.

Ilene Chaiken also mentioned that they write in Los Angeles and most of the writers have disbanded by the time they get to Vancouver.

In regards to the plot of season 2 Ilene mentioned, “Everyone has a lot to contend with.”  Shane will return to her rakish ways and that Tina and Bette have just busted up their whole relationship.


The characters of Marina and Tim are expected to be written out of season 2, while Lara is expected to make a return

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