EPISODE QUOTES
By April
Alice: Dana, who told me she needed
closure with Lara. Well, it’s 6 months and I’m still waitin’ for it to
close.
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Angus: Want me to rock your half birthday party? Maybe some Ozzy, Black
Sabbath?
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Sex Therapist: Mama T & Mama B DO NOT make mad passionate love to one
another. They make cookies.
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Carmen: Beaver is also fun sometimes & I like twat. I actually really like
twat. You know that.
Shane: I know
Carmen: Aww, babe.
Shane: I know
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Bette: So what are you on now?
Alice: I'm on methylphenidate. Possible side effects are (clears throat) -
include, um, Tourette's.
(Sent in by MailGurl)
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Alice: Then you came up with peeper. Peeper, peeper, peeper, peeper, peeper,
peeper, peeper. Touch my peeper Al. Nobody touches my peeper the way you do.
Oh, look what happens when my peeper touches your peeper. It’s a wet peeper.
It’s a wet, wet peeper. Peeper.
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Alice: It’s very not precise this pill popping business.
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Social worker: Let’s just hope she doesn’t have a lot of contact with the
child.
Alice: Uh, I happen to be the Earth Mother. I would’ve been the Godmother
but I don’t believe in god.
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Carmen’s Mom: You have a boyfriend Shane?
Shane: Uh, not yet.
Carmen’s Mom: Oh, you will.
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Alice to cardboard cut out of Dana: What are you lookin’ at?
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Kit: We do not go there. I am your mother and you are my son and my
poonannie dry or not dry is something we do not discuss.
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Kit: Once the monkey goes south, that’s the end of it.
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Slang For Having Sex with Dudes at the end of the episode
Dip the chip
Bang the box
Sweep out your chimney
Stretch that leather
Bump uglies
Dip and dive
Shake the sheets
Crack the nut
Get some skank on the hang low
Ride the bologna pony
Give that dog a bone
Shuck the oyster
Put some beef in your taco
Ride that beef bus to tuna town
“Vagina Monologues” at the end of the episode
Front bottom
Pretty pink pearl
Pee pee
Yoni
Tongue trap
Bald man in a boat
Breakfast of champions
Munch box
Wee wee
Ha ha
Who who
Me me
Fuck hole
Calcunta
The lips between the hips
Furry monkey
Smurf crease
Bearded oyster
Bikini biscuit
Cooter
Cherry pop
Cat flaps
Cha cha
Harry goblet
The Grand Canyon
Fish taco
Cream collector
Goodie bag
Box of assorted creams
Honey pot
Dug out
Love mitten
Mermaids purse
Skeezy
The pink velvet sausage wallet
Poonanny
Coochie
Sweet spot
Power slot
Pork shutters
Bermuda triangle
Crab hole
Squeegee
Vertical smile
Chewbacca
Panty hamster
Roast beef sandwich
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