By Janine Avril

Hello L Word Online fans: The L Word Premiere on February 8th in New York City was definitely the thrill of my year, if not of my entire life. I definitely wouldn’t mind doing things Hollywood style a bit more often.

I was the first of my colleagues to arrive at Chelsea Clearview Cinemas. I am always characteristically twenty minutes early. I thus secured an excellent spot to view the red carpet walk by the L Word divas, their producers and directors. I was right up at the gate, so I had the most ideal view possible. After a long wait, I watched the stars walk from their limousine, one by one onto the red carpet; each of the stars was more beautiful than ever, in real time. After seeing (in exact order) Erin Daniels, Leisha Hailey, Laurel Holloman, Katherine Moennig, Sarah Shahi and Jennifer Beals, make their grand entry, I waited and waited for Mia Kirschner, anticipating my first sighting of her, expecting it to be the most awe-inspiring, astounding, mind blowing, out of this world, moment of the evening. Yet she did not appear…. much to my disappointment there was no Mia despite my ever so patient waiting. I finally asked one of the staffers, "Where is Mia?" and she said, "Oh, I'm so sorry honey, she's in Cambodia."

Cambodia!!!!!!! I knew my one chance with Mia was totally gone. I fought back tears and decided that rather than crawl into some totally dark pit of despair, I would push on with the night and survive the uncalled for trauma. I headed into the theatre and learned that I was sitting next to Pam Grier's entertainment lawyer. We struck up a conversation and he informed me that Pam was also unable to make the premiere because her mother was sick.
As for what the stars were wearing, to be honest, I was too excited to remember it all. Erin Daniels was definitely the fanciest dresser, wearing a long gown with a chic sweater coat. Laurel Holloman was wearing knee high jeans and sexy boots and her hair was curlier than on the show. Frankly, she is much sexier in real life than as Tina and I am amazed that she gave birth fairly recently because her body looked incredible. She already lost all the weight that it takes some women years to lose. Katherine Moennig was very shy on the red carpet walk. She looked extremely pissed off that she had to be photographed and had that "whatever" expression on her face. She was butchier in real life than Shane on the show and was the least dressed up of the stars, while still pulling off looking totally sexy in a silky T-shirt and black pants and a ton of eye makeup.

Eventually everyone crowded into the theater after getting free popcorn and diet coke. Producer Ilene Chaiken spoke and informed everyone that the L Word has been picked up for a third season! Ilene then said she wanted to introduce the "devastating cast of the L word," and had each member of the cast stand for the audience to clap for them. Ilene also paid respects to Ossie Davis (Bette and Kit’s father on the show) who passed away last week.

I really don't want to ruin the episode for anyone who won't see it until the 20th of February, a gruelling few days away. Suffice it to say, it had its perks as well as its totally awkward moments. Without divulging too much, Shane's new love interest, Carmen, played by Sarah Shahi is TOTALLY HOT.

Sarah Shahi was the first celebrity I met at the reception at Duvet which guests were shipped to in busses that awaited us outside of the theater. Instead of couches, the whole room was filled with BEDS. Very suggestive. There were pink rose petals on all of the beds, and beautiful waitresses served champagne and amazing hors d'ouvres. I particularly enjoyed the jumbo fried shrimp and the potato pancakes. I was wondering what I had to do to spend a few minutes rolling around on one of those beds with Sarah Shahi. Her perfume was INTOXICATING and she was sweet and totally empathetic to a lowly run of the mill writer like me.

As I was telling her that I bought my sparkling bright green dress just to make Mia fall in the love with me, Showtime television cameras came from behind and taped our conversation. I told the camera that Mia had missed her chance and that I now had a new love interest instead. Sarah then informed the television crew of my plans to take Mia off my desktop screensaver and put her on instead!
(Am I fickle? I am sorry to have deceived you Mia, if you can ever hear me. I still totally love you and would be your wife tomorrow. I know you are originally from Canada and I would be happy to settle down with you in Toronto where gay marriage is legal)

I got a chance to speak with Leisha Hailey who was there with her girlfriend. I told her how much I liked the show and Alice. I then walked up to Erin Daniels and told her if she needed a personal tour guide to show her around New York City that I was available. As Alice said in the beginning of season one "Some girls are straight, until they’re not..."
Well can't Erin be one of those? I did meet Katherine Moenig very shortly. My one liner was, "Can I meet you, just to say I met you?" She smiled shyly, shook my hand and said of course. She was there with a very femme, cigarette smoking, raven haired, HOT piece of ass girl, and I found myself staring at them quite a bit throughout the night. Katherine also seemed to be a chain smoker and was smoking a good amount, despite any New York City laws against indoor bar smoking. I realized that this law absolutely does not and should not apply to hot, dyke celebrities.
I kept trying to have a word with Laurel Holloman, but she spent most of the night in the VIP lounge which I could not get into because I didn’t know the password. When I tried to get through and the bouncer asked me, "What time is it?" and I said "I don’t know," so I was booted out. Laurel did come out for a few seconds but was being interviewed by someone with a tape recorder and while we kept exchanging glances, I was getting bored of waiting and my feet on high heels were starting to hurt so I went to sit down on one of the beds.

Jennifer Beals was nowhere to be seen. Frankly, I don't think she was at the reception, unless she was hiding in the VIP lounge all night long. One thing that I liked about Erin Daniels, Leisha Hailey, Sarah Shahi and Katherine Moenig is that they all seemed like relatively normal human beings who were not egomaniacal about their fame. That was endearing….

Ilene Chaiken looked beautiful in a long gown with and open back and I complimented her on how lovely her show was. I also spotted Rose Troche looking very smart wearing clothes from Rigged Out/fitters - a new dyke designer from Brooklyn.

All in all, the eye candy was great, the food was excellent, the level of excitement in the air was high, we were all given a complimentary copy of Velvetpark magazine (featuring the L word) as we left the lounge and my cohorts and I had one of the greatest nights of our lives.