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Even driving down the road, if I see a dog on the other side of the street,
I yell "DOGGIE!!!!" and smile like a lunatic.
Ergo, having to control myself and report on what happens apart from Otto -
Cutest Puppy In The Known Universe, WHILE Otto - Cutest Puppy In The Known
Universe is on screen, IS rather hard. So if I miss out vital info on the
gang, I do apologise.
*goes back to finish my joyous 'Otto - Cutest Puppy In The Known Universe'
spasms of glee*
The incredibly un-cute Jenny mentions she's allergic to dogs etc and so
Moira pipes up, "y'know, people are usually actually allergic to the saliva
more than the hair......normally". Bless, she's trying to fit in already :-)
Carmen looks at her like she's grown another head.
Shane sounds vaguely interested, and Moira just stands there wishing she
were somewhere else.
Suddenly, to break the mood (cause everyone knows puppies are far more
intelligent than lesbians) Otto - Cutest Puppy In The Known Universe pees on
Jenny.
(Nice shot OTTO! *g*)
Everyone makes a fuss and Shane picks him up, turns him to look at her and
utters one of the cutest lines in the show thus far:
"Aww, why'd you have to pee on people?! Huh?!" then cuddles him while I go
back into fits of spasms.
"Y'know what? How about we help you with your bags" says Carmen.
"You girls just relax and let us butches unload the truck....c'mon Shane!"
replies Moira
Carmen, grinning, slaps Shane on the upper arm and mock-says "ya big butch!
go unload the truck!"
"OW!" says Shane and then wanders over to help.
Only to have Moira The UltraButch playfully throw her a huge bag off the
back, nearly knocking Shane flying into next week!
LOL! All those of you who considered Shane to be 'butch', think again!
MOIRA THE ULTRABUTCH IS IN TOWN!
Cut to: Angus the guitar guy, in his new role as nanny to Angelica, taking
her out for a walk.
She's strapped to his front and while he walks along he's singing that same
cute "hello!" song from the toddler group, only this time he's saying
"HELLO! to the table, so glad to see you! HELLO! to the palm tree.....", and
it's soooo cute!
He makes the mistake of walking past The Planet JUST as Kit comes out to
cool down (she's patting her cheeks so obviously it's the menopause kicking
in again), and she turns to see this complete stranger walking along with
her niece!
"Hey! Whaddya doin wit that child!?" Kit questions, halting Angus.
"I'm taking her for a walk..."
"Who said you could?!" says Kit
"Her Mother! Who are you?!" counters NannyMan
"Her Aunt, Kit Porter", and then realization dawns with NannyMan, so he
happily introduces himself and shakes her hand.
"I'm Angus, Partridge. I'm her Manny..."
Kit, quite rightly, requestions that one:
"Excuse me, do you say her 'Manny'?"
"Yep"
"Ohhhh I see, so my sister hires you to take care of her baby....such a
problem solver that girl..." (Kit says this with a half-sarcastic air, like
what she really meant to say was "why the hell didn't she tell me? PLUS
what's she doing hiring a nanny when she's not earning at the moment! Tsk!"
"Well, Angus, The Manny....I'm gonna call you.....MANgus" says Kit.
Yes Kit, the man's a nanny, his name his Angus Partridge, therefore you MUST
- simply MUST - call him Mangus.
It's cute, but, personally, I think that menopause is affecting the elder
Miss Porter's brain somewhat ;-)
Anyhoo, she invites him into The Planet for something to drink etc
Cut to: a golf buggy with Shaolin Film Studios zipping around a lot.
And quicker than you can deal a pack of Tarot cards, we see it's being
driven by the newly niceified Helena, with Tina as her passenger.
Oh Bette?! BETTE!? Did you give her permission to leave the house? Well,
she's OUT, and look who she's with, hmmmmm ;-)
Helena points out the sights and sounds of the lot - and incidentally, they
zip past, among others, a pack of extras dressed.....as NUNS. Must be a
habit in this episode or something.......
Eventually Ms Peabody pulls over and gets out, with the line, "has Bette
found a job yet?"
ME-OW!!!! However, we know she has ulterior motives and ISN'T just being a
prize bitch for a change, because of course this is season 3, mark 2, 'Nice'
Helena and not the Rich Bitch SugarMommy from last season.
Cut back to: MANgus holding Angelica in The Planet.
Then something really ODD happens.
Kit, I believe, attempts a Scottish accent, upon seeing Bette arrive, and
says "Heeeey Sisterrrr, sit ovar herrre, with Marngus!"
I could be wrong though, and it could have just been a new hormone patch
kicking in, giving her that menopausal boost and making the language centre
of her brain go a bit ga-ga.
However, as I'm half-Scottish myself, I'm think it was an attempt at the
accent.
Perhaps cause 'Angus' sounds a bit Scottish as a name? I dunno.
Mind you, she did just rename him Mangus outside, so perhaps she's on a roll
today. Let's just go with it shall we?
Bette (in rather unflattering long-scarfed outfit, which I hope is simply to
hide the fact Jennifer was pregnant in real life) comes and sits down with
them, taking Angelica from The Mangus, who mock-moans to her "I think your
sister's put 5 pounds on me!" with everything she's given him to eat!
"Oh he can afford to with his skinny booty of his! Have you ever seen one so
small and tight!" gushes Kit, whilst Angus looks perplexed. Obviously he
didn't realise Kit is a bundle of raging hormones at the moment and he could
quite easily have been the desert to the meal they've just eaten, HAD he
bent over to pick up his napkin!
"I'm really not in the habit of checking out the nanny's ass" scolds Bette
to her sister.
(I bet if her nanny looked like Carmen she bloody well would!)
The MANgus noses around in Bette's shopping bag, (just how well DO they know
this man?!) and pulls out the books she's bought.
The following conversation the three have isn't radically interesting, but
does contain the following points:
A) Kit says that F word in front of Angelica YET AGAIN
B) Bette has another little rant about her grant getting pulled etc
C) Bette is thinking of taking a "city bank job" cause Tina's freaked with
their money situation.
Er, city bank job? I guess that's one of those things we've missed hearing
about as it happened in the six months BETWEEN season 2 and 3! Tsk!
Bette thinks taking the bank job "makes me wanna kill myself"
The MANgus adds, "don't even think about taking a job that doesn't make your
heart sing!"
And Kit sucks up to him even more with "Tell it like it is MANgus!"
Ok, these people (remember, they are basically a struggling musician/nanny,
a woman who had to borrow MOST of the down payment to buy The Planet and an
new mother, who WAS a high-flyer in the art world, but now is reduced to
selling her possessions to pay the rent etc!) DO NOT seem to be living in
the real world.
Of ALL the people I know, NONE has the luxury of doing a job that 'makes
their heart sing'. Cause basically, life usually just doesn't work like
that!
If it did, I'd be an astronaut or a famous singer/writer, my girlfriend
would be doing art therapy with children and her sister would be a famous
novelist!
Unfortunately we gotta takes the jobs we can finds to pay the bills in the
meantime, BEFORE we can afford to take that precious job which makes our
hearts, and/or pockets sing.
*end of Sci-Fi Bard sermon*
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