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Cut to:
Shane and The Hotness That Is Carmen making out in bed.
Ahhhh, it's back to my Happy Place once more :-)
You don't really get to see them below the waist, but I'm pretty sure Carmen
has a hand down there and is making Shane feel gooooood.
However, Shane sorta pulls away suddenly, and her girlfriend asks her what's
wrong.
Shane says it's ok and that it feels good etc and they go back to it, with
Carmen moving down out of shot to give Shane some 'verbal attention'......
In my next life I wanna come back as Shane and Carmen's bed linen. Cause,
let's face it, I'd just NEVER be bored! ;-)
A few seconds pass, but Shane is still having trouble getting into 'the
zone' and eventually pulls Carmen back up to stop her.
Carmen is understandably worried, as that's pretty much the lesbian
equivalent of "it's ok dear, it doesn't matter - we can try again in a
minute if you'd like? This never happens to me usually...."
Carmen asks Shane what's the matter and Shane has trouble articulating just
what IS wrong. She ends up saying she's "distracted".
Carmen asks why and Shane just looks at her with puppy dog eyes, until she
gives in, putting her forehead down on Shane's chest in capitulation.
Shane kisses her forehead and whispers she's sorry, as the two snuggle.
Personally I think Shane is worried about the fact Dana is sick and it's
affecting her more than she's letting on.
Shane really really loves her friends and something like cancer has gotta
throw you for a loop.
If anyone else has a theory on why Shane 'couldn't get it up' so to speak,
DO share them with the group!
Cut to:
Alice, bolting upright in bed as she shouts "Dana!"
Don't you just hate waking from a bad dream when theres no one next to you
in bed....
Cut to:
Dana, bolting upright in bed in agony and tears.
Lara is right there straight away, comforting her, telling her it's gonna be
ok etc
But as usual, Dana has to be contrary to everything her girlfriend says or
does, so says "it's NOT ok"
Lara gets up out of bed before she says something she'll regret and instead
suggests she make Dana some breakfast.
"Why don't you just leave me the fuck alone! You're not my fucking nurse!
You're not my mother! You're not anything...."
L: "NO Dana and I'm NOT YOU'RE FUCKING PUNCHING BAG EITHER!"
Good. That needed to be said Lara. Well done.
Dana may be very ill and she may be angry at herself and the world and fate
and the cancer and whatever, BUT to lay into the woman who loves her like
that, and to call her "nothing" like she just did when she's stood by her
and cared for her is pretty indefensible.
Even if it IS just Dana trying to push Lara away to see if she really does
love her enough or whatever.
i.e. if you push someone away and away and away, and if they still stay with
you, then they must really love you.
Twisted logic I know, but Dana's mind is twisted and bitter and angry and
she's not thinking like usual.
"Maybe it would just be better for you if I went away for a little
while...." says Lara, clearly upset.
Dana, seeing a chink in Lara's armour - seeing that she's on the way to
FINALLY driving her away, like she knew she could/would - weighs in with an
I-told-you-so voice, "WHY don't you just go then? Huh? Why don't you just
GO!
She changes tone into sarcasm, "Go to PARIS. Take that chef's course you've
been talking about!"
"Just cause you're girlfriend's DYING..."
L: "You're NOT dying Dana!"
D: "YOU DON'T FUCKING KNOW THAT!
HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW THAT!
YOU'RE NOT GOD!"
Lara stands there, on the edge, looking at Dana.
She's done everything she knows how to do.
She's loved her, she's been there for her, she's cared for her - but it
doesn't seem to be enough.
Moving back quickly to sit next to her girlfriend, she pleads with Dana,
"WHAT do you want?
I've TRIED to be there for you.
I've tried to do everything, what do you...."
"I WANT YOU TO GO!" yells Dana, quite possibly breaking Lara's heart in the
process.
"I want you to go! Go anywhere!"
"I DON'T WANT TO GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT YOU OK!" Lara pleads.
"I LOVE YOU DANA!
Exhausted and upset, Dana repeats herself tearfully, "I just want you to
leave....."
"Just GO!"
*Lara looks at her in despair*
"PLEASE go!"
*Lara gets up off the bed wiping her eyes full of tears*
Dana, to push the point home cruelly and vehemently yells "LEAVE", and Lara
wheels away, walking out of the door.
Dana Fairbanks is left alone, tears ebbing, sitting on her bed.
Now you could take that scene a few different ways.
As I'm a Dana/Lara-shipper, I see it that since learning she has cancer,
Dana has lost all control of her life.
She gets told WHEN she's having treatment, HOW LONG for, WHAT she has to do
etc.
Even, to a lesser extent, HOW LONG she's got to live!
One of the only things left she has control over in her life is the people
around her.
Perhaps she pushed Lara as far as possible just to SEE if she would leave.
Perhaps she's wallowing so far in depression over the cancer that she
doesn't think she deserves Lara's love.
Perhaps she's just taking all the balled up anger over her cancer OUT on ONE
unfortunate person - i.e. Lara.
Whatever the case my be, if I was Lara, and Dana had treated me that way,
AND I was very much in love with Dana, I think I would have left too. But
not for good.
Let her cool down, let her be alone for a while, then go back and see how
she is maybe.
I dunno. I've never had anyone close to me BE that sick before.
But I do know that if MY girlfriend was ill, wild horses tied to jet-fuelled
tractors wouldn't be able to pry me away from her side.
At least, not for any length of time.......
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