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Cut to:
The gang arriving at the stadium.
A board announces it's the San Hose Lightnings against the Houston Mustangs.
And I dip into my Bourbon Creams....
Cut to:
MoiraMax outside the men's room.
She looks around nervously then dips inside.
Aren't guys urinals just THE most disgusting places?!
If you ask me, men are ALL gay. ;-)
I mean, would a woman go into a toilet and expect to pee sitting right next
to another woman?
Nope.
But men go in and stand at that urinal and pee against the wall with their
peckers out for all to see!
Men are SUCH exhibitionists, honestly!
Plus, they are basically peeing on the FLOOR (albeit in a little channel...)
for heaven's sake! EWWWW!
Sorry, sorry, I'll stop my mens room rant now.
It's just it's icky, that's all.
PLUS (final plus, I promise! lol!) have you ever BEEN in a men's room?
It REEKS of piss!!!!!!
I mean, I know that toilets are the nicest smelling of places, but
PUR-LEASE!
*gags*
Anyhoo......
Back in the land of fake dicks, MoiraMax goes and stands at the wall like
the other guys, then hesitantly gets out her 'flexible friend'.
And no, I don't mean her credit card.
Presumably she starts peeing too, as she looks all happy and like she's a
kid who just got a new toy (NO jokes please) and even quickly checks out the
guys next to her for competition with a grin.
Bless her/him/whatever ;-)
Cut to:
MoiraMax leaving the men's room.
(Did she wash her hands?
99.9% of bars of soap in men's rooms say "NO!")
As she comes out of there, Dana is leaving the ladies room too.
Just then a fan accosts Dana, asking if she IS Dana Fairbanks.
Dana denies who she is and hastily grabs MoiraMax by the arm, steering her
away from the fan.
MoiraMax walks with her and asks if she doesn't like being recognised, with
Dana replying, "Not like THIS"
They carry on in silence until Dana finally asks MoiraMax about what she
meant back on the plane about "life and death".
MoiraMax pauses a beat then tells Dana the first time she tried to kill
herself was when she was 10.
Even though she knew it was a sin to do so she still tried cause she knew
"this wasn't my life".
Dana is horrified at the thought Moira tried to kill herself at only 10
years of age.
MoiraMax goes on to explain that she thought if she died, she'd come back
and God would put he in the "right" body.
This gives Dana a lot to think about as they carry on walking.
They eventually arrive at the walkway out to the seating and as soon as they
appear out in the crowd, the announcer blares out:
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WE HAVE SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT!
LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR THE 2006 MERCEDES CHALLENGE LADIES CHAMPION:
MISS DANA FAIRBANKS!!!!"
At which, the crowd, literally, go wild.
Now, if I was being a bit mean and cold hearted I could point out to you
that as they're at a BASKETBALL game, whose to say that anyone in the crowd
would have a flying fig of a clue WHAT sport the Mercedes Challenge was even
about.
AND, I could also go on to point out that it's not often a player who has
won 1 major tournament on the tennis circuit would even be KNOWN, let alone
given a rapturous standing ovation for 5 solid minutes, as Dana is here.
But that would be miserly of me, as this is obviously Dana's 'moment in the
sun', so I'll just shut up about that.
Everyone in the crowd is screaming and yelling, applauding and whooping for
Dana.
A player even runs up the steps and gives Dana a mascot, telling her they
love her and are really excited she's there.
Dana takes it all in and promptly panics, turning and telling MoiraMax
through gritted teeth:
"Get me outta here!"
But MoiraMax, although annoying and testosterone-fuelled at times, can also
be wise beyond his/her years.
She holds Dana back and says gently that the adulation and such is:
"NOT for you
it's for THEM"
and she nods her head back towards the ecstatic crowd.
Dana turns and looks at all the happy faces and the people applauding for
her.
She sees the joy and the excitement all around her and she can do nothing
else but
STAY.
Kit's song from earlier starts playing over the scene and Nona is talking
the lyrics, all about transformation and change.
Dana receives the standing ovation and the adulation and waves back at the
crowd with an honest smile on her face......
as we cut back to the song being laid down in the studio.
Kit comes in with her verse and then it's the chorus, which goes something
like this:
"Trannnnnnnnnnnnsformations
Vaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaariations
Alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllternations
Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeviations
You know
Mooooooooother Nature rules us all"
(btw, that chorus IS the essence of what Season 3 is about. THINK about it
folks......)
As they sing the song we see a montage of shots:
MANgus staring at Kit with love in his eyes.
Tina sitting on her bed with tears in her eyes.
Bette walking in her Buddhist mediation group with peace in her eyes.
Dana waving back at the crowd with tears/joy in her eyes.
Helena applauding Dana with pride in her eyes for her friend's courage.
Alice applauding Dana with love in her eyes.
As the song finishes we're back in the studio with Kit doin' her thang on
the mic.
Fade up on end titles.
This episode of The L Word was brought to you mostly by me wiping the
steam off my screen.
DISCLAIMER: NO black panties were ripped during this recap. I think.
Liked this review? Hated it? Didn't understand something about it?
Write to me, thesci-fibard3@ntlworld.com with your comments.
When writing, PLEASE include what country you're from, as I love to know
where y'all come from folks!
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