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Now, if we'd had proms like that when I was at school, gay wild horses with
bells on wouldn't have been able to keep me away! Mind you, the chances of
there having been a porn festival in my village when I was 16 are roughly
the same as the chances of someone finding a Gucci handbag (with lipstick
inside) in k.d.Lang's closet.
Hmmmm.....
Even Alice agrees, saying "That's the coolest prom EVER! I'm so jealous!"
lol!
Seemingly Alice's prom sucked, Shane didn't attend her prom cause she didn't
finish college, but MoiraMax went to hers. MoiraMax beats everyone though by
admitting she went to her prom with the captain of the football team! WAY TO
GO MOIRA! And speaking of MoiraMax, it's then she notices that on the great
big poster Jenny's made for the party that says 'TRANSFORM THE TRANNY!'
(it's got stick on clothes and all around a drawing of Moira) there's a dick
sticking out of the fly on the trousers. MoiraMax is NOT pleased, as she
thinks that's disrespectful and we're treated to yet another
testosterone-fuelled hissy fit.
Cut to:
Bette sitting in front of the head monk at the retreat. Monk Lady says that
this is an opportunity for Bette to get off her chest any problems she's
been having while at the retreat. She asks if Bette is experiencing any
difficulties, any discomfort, difficulties with the silence etc It's sooooo
damn obvious to anyone with even ONE eye that Bette is having difficulty all
over the place with ever aspect of being at the retreat, but true to form,
good old Bette Porter keeps everything inside, doesn't tell anyone her
problems - even though she's being asked to - and instead struggles on by
herself.
Sometimes I really do wonder if that woman has straw for brains.
Cut to:
Tina's, where Helena and her kids, Tina and Angelica and some guy named
Henry and his son are all having swimming lessons. Seemingly Henry joined
this group for lessons after his friend with a pool stopped having them a
while ago.
Oh that's nice then.
Btw, anyone know any good techniques for teaching my girlfriend how to swim,
when she's scared of putting her head under the water? It's just I told her
I'd help teach her how to do more than just doggy paddle this year when the
weather is nicer :-/
Me and my big mouth eh? hehe.
The swim teacher takes the kids attention which leaves Tina and Helena to
talk to Henry. Now, if you're looking at him and wondering where you've seen
him before, let me put you out of your misery. HE'S the actor who played
Ellen's old boyfriend she meets again in the infamous Puppy episode of
Ellen! YEP, he's the one who is working for Laura Dern in that ep! See now,
DON'T you feel better now your misery is gone ;-)
It's so blatant that Tina fancies Henry and I'd go so far as to put my own
money on the fact that she'll end up sleeping with him at some point during
season 3. *groan*
Ok, since when did Tina become such a slut?! One week she's lusting after
that director guy, next she's eyeing up some guy she's only just met in her
daughter's swim class! Is NO MAN safe from this bisexual beauty!!!!
Cut to:
Carmen and Shane sitting in the back yard of Carmen's mother's house.
Carmen's looking through old vinyl records and talking to her mom in Spanish
while Shane is peeling corn on the cob. Carmen talks about Benny More and
tells Shane he's the guy she likes Carmen to play "back in the day when I
used to go down on you...." Shane is appalled that Carmen would talk like
that in front of her mother and relatives (even though I doubt any of them
would understand what she was saying.....but still......) and tells her off.
(Btw, More is considered by many fans of Cuban music as the greatest Cuban
singer of all time) Then Momma Carmen wants a cigar off a top shelf to give
to her Aunty sitting outside so Shane hops up and says she'll get it for
her. She goes and gives it to Carmen's Aunty and the woman engulfs her in a
HUGE bear hug to say thank you! lol!
While in the hug, the Aunty notices Shane's new tattoo (y'know, the bird
thingy she and Carmen both got on the backs of their necks) and she remarks
on it in Spanish. I can't tell what the Aunty is saying, but I did hear the
word "matrimonial". Momma Carmen comes out, sees Shane's tattoo, looks over
and sees the same one on the back of her daughter's neck and scowls just as
Carmen turns round to look at her. Momma Carmen doesn't say anything, and
instead asks Shane to come help her in the kitchen. Carmen sits there with a
suspicious look on her face, wondering if her mother has just rumbled them
being a couple etc. Momma Carmen tells Shane she has to come to dinner the
following day as there's someone she wants her to meet. Carmen sits there
and gets even more suspicious.
Cut to:
A spinning glitter ball as someone spins Obsession by 80's band Animotion.
We are treated to the spectacle of every woman/man/trans in Wax dressed up
in godawful 80's clothes, dancing away like Boy George just came in the
room.
LMAO! Ah yes, the 80's. The decade fashion FORGOT.
Helena is wearing a rather fetching tux (ooooh the woman looks good in men's
clothes! Pass me the smelling salts again mother!) Alice looks like Madonna,
circa Like A Virgin spat up on her and Tina looks an hilarious sight to
behold. She's got the dress with shoulder pads and has completed the outfit
with THE most 80's hairstyle I've ever seen!
LMAO! Actually, you could just have shown me Tina with that hair and I
could've told you it was an 80's theme! Never has so much hairspray
sacrificed itself for such a worthy cause. I hope MoiraMax appreciates it!
;-)
(Y'know you're getting old when people start having decade theme
nights/parties and the decade chosen is one IN WHICH you grew up!)
;-)
The gorgeous lady working the Kissing Booth sees Alice and waves to her.
Alice waves back cutely. Helena and Tina see this and get on at Alice to go
out with her. Turns out the woman - Chandra - has already asked Alice OUT!
WOO HOO! Alice is hesitant though. She looks over at Dana and says she's
doing great.
Dana - wearing white lacy over-the-elbow 80's Madonna-esque gloves and
sporting a natty blonde housewife bobbed wig - is talking to a guy who I
think has had the same surgery Dana had. Only I think he's either had it
cause he started growing man-boobs or something else.
Put it this way, I don't think he used to be a woman ;-)
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