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I think it's the confidence. Or the body. Or her lips maybe? Mostly the
confidence. I like confident women. And men. Actually, this scene isn't
really sexual, but it still seems like foreplay. Mostly um: "I can make a
woman come just by kissing her." Really, Papi? Really?
Hot or Not? Yes.
Also I wonder where she gets her eye shadow.
Lesbian Foreplay Moment #4: Yes, I Know Max is Not a Lesbian Because He's
an FTM Now, but he's still an F at this moment so Whatevs, and I know Brooke
is a Girl, But She Goes to Mt. Holyoke, so it's only a matter of time
The Pick Up: "You were a good kid? Let me teach you how to be bad."
(Brooke)
Hot or Not? Max totally reminds me of my ex-boyfriend in these
scenes. Like the way he talks, which is a sorta monotone, and kinda cheesy,
and how he looks like a gay guy? Yeah. Oh, P.S., not hot.
Lesbian Sex Moment #1:Um, Yo Quiero, Por Favor.
The Players: Papi is The Player. Alice is in it for the radio. She's
like Ira Glass, but naked. Act Four, Y'all!
The Pick-Up: "I'm gonna take you places you've never been before."
Hot or Not? Alice makes me laugh. We get something that we so rarely
get on this show: a shot of a hand sliding between thighs and under panties.
Of course, the camera quickly pans away, but still, it's something, and by
"something" I mean it's not just a shot of the girl panting and making that
sharp moan to indicate that she is being entered, at which point we are
meant to assume that a hand has slipped between thighs and under panties and
is hopefully inside something with a lot of nerve endings.
Afterwards, Alice says she is done, and Papi said she is not done! I think
this is why they named this episode "Livin' La Vida Loca." Ricky Martin
would be pleased because we all know he's a homo too.
They are leaning back on the pull-out bed that is in Papi's limo. Really
Papi? Really?
Papi: "Rule Number One: Papi Doesn't Do Breakfast."
I would like to add that line to my daily vocabulary, along with "Really
Papi? Really?" which Haviland and I have already used at least 5 times since
viewing the episode....
....and which Alice uses when she turns around to see this:
I'd like to call this "The Prologue to Awesome."
---------------------------------------
"This episode just got so much better."
-Hav, when Helena comes outside in her cute jogging outfit, displayed
above.
---------------------------------------
(Also it should be noted that when Marina entered the room in Ep 401, Hav
also announced that the episode had just become so much better. She's easy
to please, is what I'm trying to say. Cute girls with firm muscles, sexy
accents, and tight boob-clingy shirts and um...power? And all they gotta do
is walk on screen. Yup. I'm easy to please too. Just give me Shane in a
wifebeater, or Shane after being beaten, or Alice being funny, or Carmen
coming back to the show, or Marina going down on Jenny. Or Tim without his
shirt on.)
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Max whips out his first "You don't understand" of the season when Jenny
suggests that he come out at work. Except she's not really suggesting that,
she's just asking him to stop talking so that she can concentrate on
herself. She's hunting online for her review by Stacey Merkin, who
apparently did not actually like "Some of Her Parts." The scathing review
prompts Jenny to totally freak out. She screams so loud that Shay spills his
milk.
Fortunately, Shay has already been fed like, 10,000 meals, so he should be
okay even without this one. Then Jenny freaks out about Shay spilling on the
bag she was wait-listed for. I'm also laughing, gleefully, like I did when
Jenny was creeping around Tim's backyard spying on him and then told Becky
that she was just looking for some bread to make toast.
This is when the longest stream of Awesome-Ness begins.
1. Let's Start The Awesome Train:
Jenny is wearing some goth-milk-maid outfit and is feeling particularly
petulant after reading the review.
Shane: What are you screaming about?
Shay: I spilled.
Shane: You spilled? It's okay--
Jenny: No, that's not what happened. What happened is that Stacey
Merkin revealed herself to be a true cunt --
Shane: HEY!
Jenny insists on speaking to Shay about this, telling him that: "The thing
is, Shay, I didn't even want to do the fucking interview in the first
place." Then she begs: "Shay, say 'Stacey Merkin is a fucking cunt. Say it.
Say Stacey Merkin is a fucking cunt.'" as Shane is leaving the room. Jenny
has totally lost her marbles, and it's adorable, and Mia is rocking this new
personality with a finesse she never rocked the crazy-deep-writer thing.
She's embracing the warm.
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