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2. Second Interlude of Awesome:
Look at her eyes. This girl needs her own show. Her and James should
have a show on TLC called "Best Assistant Ever/Worst Assistant Ever." That's
her response to Shane's request to feed her brother his 15th smoothie of the
day.
3. And Some More Awesome Where That Came From:
Cybill Shepard comes out to Bette with that sense of entitlement
employed by women who are used to having large groups of people hanging on
their every word. Just kidding. Women never do that, but men often do, e.g.
all my ex boyfriends, except for the one who talks like Max. That like:
"NEWS FLASH: I have a thought!" attitude. Like in "Wall Street."
Phyllis: I just can't keep this inside anymore, Bette. Do you know
what I mean?
(pause)
Bette: I--no. Uh--I--uh--no, I don't know what you mean.
Phyllis: I have to find out about these feelings! I have to find out
about what I've missed!
Bette: Why don't you talk to someone? Like maybe a therapist or--
Phyllis: I've been lying to my therapist for years. I need to talk to
you, Bette.
Bette: Me?
Phyllis: (nods affirmatively)
Bette's attitude here is just stunning. I love her and want her to be my
wife.
4. You Know What's Awesome: JENNY IS KICKING ASS AND TAKING NAMES
This is when Jenny, still dressed as Emily the Strange, busts into the Curve
magazine offices (holla! I heart Curve!) with intent to search and destroy
Stacey Merkin for the "piece of shit" review that she recently spotted in
"your little magazine called Curve," and urges the secretary to look up her
glowing review in Publishers Weekly and then lunges over the desk to pull up
the review via cross-desk typing and when she fails she insists that the
secretary do it herself, reminding the secretary that she ought to type in
"Publishers weekly dot com. Jennifer Schecter."
Can I just say something? Daphne Merkin. Stacey Merkin. Daphne Merkin,
Stacey Merkin, Uma, Oprah, Daphne Merkin Stacey Merkin anyone? Ok.
The secretary asks her why she should care about the review if it's in a
"piece of shit magazine."
JENNY MOMENT:
Jenny: "Well I do give a shit? Because I think she should be FIRED! I
think she used -- duplicitous methods -- "
Administrative Assistant: "Duplicitous?"
Jenny: "Yes, to get me to to open up. She used sexual orientation and
her gayness to get me to open up. And do you know what Merkin means? JOLENE!
Vagina wig. That's what her name means. Shame on you for not correcting her
sloppy syntax and grammar."
WEINERDOG!
6. Totally Awesome Spy Movie:
I.C has given up on resisting camp in favor of "messages" about breast
cancer. I.C has embraced the camp. Like embracing the warm, but better, and
with cooler sunglasses.
The girls, like Charlies Angels but with Max, are going to go find
themselves some Shay, because he has run away and needs a beverage.
6. It is Awesome That They Found Shay Before any Sort of PSA Could be
Inserted.
When I saw Shay in a truck with a Sex-Offenderish guy I was like, Oh God,
please don't do this to us. You were on such a roll! But no, he returns the
child to Shane, safe and sound.
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"Aw, they can share clothes."
-Haviland
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Then, back at the b-ball court, where Alice and Bette are entertaining my
fantasies of Alice and Bette getting back together: Out of the Woods tumble
Helena and Papi. Helena asks Papi if she'd like come home for a nightcap....
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
"Rule Number Two: Never go home with a girl who's roommate you just bopped
that same morning."
Really Papi? Really.
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This kid is gonna start packing on the pounds. Liquid calories, bro! I guess
if he keeps spilling his drinks, he won't be consuming too many calories
though.
The Round-Up:
Lesbian Sex Moments: 1 this episode, 1 total
Lesbian Foreplay Moments: 2 this episode, 4 total
Lesbian Squabbles: 0 this episode, 4 total
Quote of the Week: Papi
Kinsey: 6
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