|
Cut to:
Max telling Jenny about liking Brooke.
As usual, Jenny is being far too self-absorbed to pay proper attention to
anyone else.
She can't find the review/interview on Curve.com that Stacy was supposed to
have done of her book.
Max questions this as Jenny agreed to let HIM read all her reviews BEFORE
she did.
(A wise move on Jenny's part I feel...)
Jenny doesn't think that applies this time as Stacy was so nice and
understanding as, "that's the kind of thing that happens when two gay women
speak to each other..."
Oh RULLY Jenny, RULLY?
We'll just see about that....
What's the betting Stacy gives Jenny's book a complete trouncing, after
being so 'nice and understanding' etc
After all, everyone knows the trinity when it comes to the Scum-Of-The-Earth
people includes lawyers, politicians and JOURNALISTS.
Jenny finally locates the review and happily starts to read it out loud....
*in the meantime Shay comes into the kitchen where Max and Jenny are to get
himself a bowl of cereal*
The first three things Stacy describes Jenny's autobiographical book as are:
"sexually explicit"
"self-indulgent"
"self-pitying"
Oh deary me.
However, Jenny reads on. She herself is described as:
"an undisciplined writer"
with "sloppy logic"
and an "undisciplined life".
After finishing reading the review, Jenny "Hmmm"'s, closes her laptop, says
"Ok! C'est la vie!" cheerily and walks away across the room...........
Only to abruptly scream out at the top of her lungs:
"FUCK YOU STACY MERKIN!!!
*Shay spills the milk he's pouring over his cereal in shock*
FUCK YOU!!!!!!!"
Max tells her off to swearing in front of Shay, Jenny notices he's spilt
milk near her precious handbag and rushes over to save it and then Shane
comes in asking what the screaming is all about!
LOL!
Jenny mutters "NOTHING!" then shuts up and sits up on the countertop with
her handbag next to Shay looking guilty.
Shay, bless him, admits he spilled some milk.
However, Jenny sort of comes to his defence, explaining matter-of-factly:
"No, that's not what happened.
What happened is, Stacy Merkin's revealed herself to be a true cunt"
On hearing Jenny swear right next to her brother, Shane's arm shoots out and
her hand covers Jenny's mouth with a warning,
"HEY!!!!!!!!! Pleeeease!"
Jenny carries on, explaining the journalist used her 'gayness' to get her to
open up, then protests, "I didn't even wanna do the fucking *Shane hand
shoots up again and claps over her friends' potty-mouth with yet another
warning* interview, in the first place"
Jenny looks like a VERY naughty little pixie by the end of that sentence,
almost like a child who knows they're being naughty and are deliberately
doing it over and over again to provoke their parent in telling them off!
LMAO!
Shane tells her half-brother where the food is and then goes to leave for
work, with a warning to Jenny to "watch-it!" with the swearing.
Shay sits there like a little darling whilst Jenny sits there like she's
been caught pulling another girls' hair in the playground!
Jenny then turns to Shay and says:
"Say: 'Stacy Merkin's a fucking cunt!'
'Stacy Merkin's a fucking cunt!'
*Shane runs back, grabs Shay and takes him with her to work*
*Jenny continues to whisper as he's pulled away from her side:*
'Stacy Merkins a fucking cunt!'
SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT!"
I actually doubled over laughing at that scene!
Who knew that an angry Jenny could be a freakin' hilarious one too!!!
MORE OF THE SAME PLEASE ILENE!!!
Cut to:
Nadia meeting Bette in the hallway with the McKay book comic book which they
were talking about earlier.
Nadia has all these plans for Bette's speech, which include substituting
Bette as the central character of the book etc etc
It's all very clever and yet again an incredible suck-up move on Nadia's
part.
*yawn*
Bette takes the idea and skews it a little. The central character wont be
her, but a student etc, which of course prompts Nadia to gush that Bette is
"wow...amazing!".
*double yawn*
A male colleague of Bette's arrives so they end their conversation and head
off together.
Nadia calls back sunnily:
"Hey, can I call you Bette?"
Male Colleague: *under his breath to Bette* "she can call me anything she
wants!"
Bette: "Dean Porter is just fine".
OOPS Nadia, looks like you've struck out again girly girl.
Cut to:
Wax, where Shay is having a good time skateboarding.
Shane looks over and asks her assistant, Marta (who's sitting there doing
nothing more important than finding her own hair fascinating) to get Shay a
smoothie.
Marta retorts, "A SMOOTHIE?" almost like:
A) she's never heard of a smoothie
B) she thinks she's above doing such things and Shane should make her own
fucking smoothie
C) see B).
Shane tells her off and makes her go do the smoothie.
Shay stands there looking out of place yet again.
Cut to:
Bette with Phyllis in her office, discussing the artists she'll be bringing
to the CU.
Did I mention I love Cybil Shepard?
I used to love watching her sitcom in the "90's.
Christine Baranski as her pal Maryann Thorpe used to crack me up every
episode, what with the night vision goggles for stalking and her catchphrase
of "Dr DICK!" always sneered with plenty vehemence.
My best friend's husband has the misfortune of being called Richard, which
of course is the perfect excuse for me to refer to him as "Dr DICK!" at
every opportunity. ;-)
Anyhoo, where was I?
Oh yes...
Phyllis seems very distracted as Bette tells her the list of artists and
resources.
Bette asks her if she's ok.
She says yes at first but then starts to explain.
Basically she confesses she thinks she's a lesbian too!
She tearily pours her heart out to Bette, "I just can't keep this inside
anymore! Know what I mean?"
Bette, of course, does not, having never had to live a lie as so many of us
do/have done.
In fact, Bette seems almost embarrassed, mentioning perhaps Phyllis should
talk to a therapist.
However, Phyllis admits she's being lying to her therapist for YEARS and
that she needs to talk to BETTE.
"Do you, do you think it's too late for me?" asks Phyllis with hope and
desperation.
Bette smiles a genuine, warm smile and tells her that of course no, it's not
to late.
Bless her cotton socks! Bless the both of them!
*gets the warm and fuzzies*
Cut to:
Jenny, who has breathlessly burst into Curve magazines' reception, demanding
to see Stacy Merkin.
Jolene says she's not in the office and only comes in once a week for a
staff meeting.
Jenny's not letting it lie and shouts if "JO-lene!" has read the "piece of
shit" review she wrote about her in the magazine.
Jenny's acting all hyper and out of breath - wired even.
Perhaps it's just the anger talking, or perhaps I WAS right and she DOES
have multiple personalities, and this one resembles Jim Carrey in pretty
much any slapstick movie he's ever done - magnified facial expressions and
all! LMAO!
She even grabs for Jolene's keyboard to make her look at her GOOD reviews!
CLASSIC!
Like Jolene the Curve secretary gives a damn! lol!
It's only when Jenny sharply points out that "Merkin" means "vagina wig!"
that Jolene seems to take an interest!
ROTFL! LOL! LMAO!
(Oh don't even get me started on merkins.
The concept itself is so bizarre - why would you NEED one!!!)
*sniggers till the cows come home*
|
