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Cut back to:
Wax, where Shane is still multitasking.
Looking after Shay (who is prone to spilling things) and trying to work are
not easy for our erstwhile lothario.
Upon spilling his second drink of the day, Shane asks Marta to get a mop, to
which Marta uses her by-now patented 'go-fuck-yourself' look.
Shane tells Shay not to worry about spilling his drink and he goes outside.
Shane asks Marta (what did Shane's last servant die of btw, overwork?!) to
tell her brother to come back in.
Marta walks approximately 6 feet closer to the door and upon not seeing Shay
anywhere within 2 feet of her, simply turns round and applies some more lip
liner in an adjacent mirror.
Well, they DO say surliness is next to gorgeousness. Or something like
that.....
Shane looks up and shouts for Marta again, and yet again when she ignores
her.
Marta *eventually* looks over, though with an exaggerated, wide-eyed
'WHAT!!!? I'm BUSY!' look.
S: "Can you ask my brother to come back in?"
M: "HE LEFT"
S: "What are you TALKING ABOUT, 'he left'!!!!???"
M: *its as if it's totally self-explanatory* "HE JUST WALKED OUT THE DOOR"
S: *appalled* "He's NINE! JESUS! WHAT, is life SO fucking hard for you?!!!"
Apparently...
I mean, she DOES have to apply lip liner on a regular basis AND stand there
looking devastating y'know.
Shane rushes out to find her brother, stating "You're FIRED" to Marta, who
whines back, "AGAIN!?".
Oh Marta Marta Marta.
The world is such a cruel place isn't it kitten.
Cut to:
Max, HETina, Jenny, Alice and Bette standing on the street, as Shane screams
up in her jeep.
They're all gonna split up and look for Shay! YAY!
He's BOUND to get found with the Lesbian Glam Posse on his trail!
Honestly, they're almost as good as Lassie!
One small nitpick though - I know it could very well be a weekend, but we've
just seen Bette at work, suggesting it's a weekday,
So HOW can 4 of these 5 people simply leave their jobs to go look for a
nine-year old boy on the spur of the moment?!
I know if MY girlfriend said to HER boss, "Oh, btw, I'm just nipping out for
the rest of the day to look for a friend's lost child" he'd probably either
fire her ass or tell her the police can do a better job of that than she
could!
Anyhoo.
Cut to:
A Mack Truck hauling ass down the highway.
(Sorry, I was channelling Smokey & The Bandit there...)
Inside just happens to be a big burly driver and
Shay.
Oh crap.
Cut to:
Shane, yelling at the police down the phone as they want a picture of Shay.
Shane, of course, hasn't know him that long so doesn't have a pic of him.
Poor kid.
Cut to:
Max/Jenny checking the skate park - no luck
Cut back to:
Big Burly Truck Driver, who is grilling Shay on his age (NOT a good sign)
When Shay says "I'll be 10 in November..." Big Burly Truck Driver replies
ominously:
"You know what happens to 10 year old boys who run away, dontcha...."
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH dear.....
The truck then pulls into a stop and the driver gets out, goes round,
un-belts Shay, hikes him over his shoulder and walks off with him!!!
OH NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
BUT, just in time Lassie shows up, bites Big Burly Truck Driver in the ass.
He drops Shay, who runs all the way home to his Mommy.
The end!
Only kiddin' ;-)
Big Burly Truck Driver walks away from the truck then places Shay down just
in time to see Shane screech up in her jeep!
Turns out Big Burly Truck Driver managed to get out of Shay where his sister
worked and called her, via Wax, to let her know where he was etc.
See!?
JUST as good as a Lassie ending.
Plus, Lassie wouldn't have been able to use a cell phone either.
I vote Big Burly Truck Driver should get his own series, called:
Adventures Of A Kindly Big Burly Truck Driver, where he could go round the
country in his Mack and rescue runaway kids, people and pets, safely
reuniting them with their relatives.
I'm not kidding! THINK about it!
It'd be like a cross between Smokey/Lassie and The Littlest Hobo!!!
I firmly expect to see a pilot episode for that show at some point on a
cable channel somewhere.
;-)
Meanwhile, at the truck stop, Shane is worried sick about her brother.
"Where the hell did you think you were gonna go!!!" she yells at him.
"Home" he replies innocently.
Poor lad.
Shane sighs, then insists: "Look, I'M your home now and we BOTH have to get
used to that".
Blimmey, tearjerker or what!
Cut to:
Bette and Alice, sitting by a basketball court.
"This is crazy, we're never gonna find him here!" says Bette, but in all
fairness, they don't exactly seem to be LOOKING very hard.
Suddenly Alice gets a call from Shane who tells her the good news.
In a sweet moment, Bette, relieved, lays her head on Alice's shoulder.
Ok, so who, now, is rooting for them to get back together?????? ;-)
*ducks for cover as the Bette/Tina brigade start to hurl things*
Just as you think the show is gonna end, the two look up to see Helena and
Papi emerging from the bushes nearby.
Helena's tucking herself back in as Bette asks Alice curiously, "Who's
THAT?"
"UMMM, that's, ah.....Papi" replies her friend, as if the woman is a force
of nature to be wondered at, instead of a person.
Which, perhaps, she is.
:-)
Helena breathlessly asks Papi, "So, er, would you like to come back for a
nightcap?"
Papi though, being Papi, simply replies:
"Rule #2: Never go home with the girl whose roommate you just bopped that
same morning!
But thanks for the offer"
And the two walk off-screen, with Helena looking like she could use a good
rest and a very stiff gin and tonic.
*sniggers* ;-)
This recap was brought to you mostly by the words "rully" and "Papi" by the
number 69.
DISCLAIMER: No bushes were mangled, nor any limo's suspension wrecked
during the the writing of this reviewcap.
Liked this review? Hated it? Didn't understand something about it?
Write to me, at thesci-fibard3@ntlworld.com with your comments.
When writing, PLEASE include what country you're from, as I love to know
where y'all come from folks!
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