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And here's to you, Angela Robinson!
Here's what you need to do. Assemble an A-TEAM:
Angela Robinson, AM Homes, Adam Rapp.
Take over.
STAT.
Post-ep, Lainy sent this text
to me: "Best episode in like 2 years. I almost came like twice."
This week, I will be allowing you -- the people -- to vote on the best
quote, because, as you will discover later, I am operating under duress and
therefore I am unable to make a qualified judgement. I might not be that
funny, really, but I bet I'm funnier than a lot of things, e.g. that sitcom
"Just Shoot Me," Heathcliff comics, Jeff Foxworthy, Meat.
Lainy and Tara were too drunk from last night (Happy Sweet 16, Lainy!) to
attend the screening this evening but Haviland, Heather, Jen, Sara and Jamie
all made it to the Love Shack.
Back Row, L to R: Heather, Riese, Haviland, Jen.
Front Row, L to R: Jamie, Sara.
Something was missing though, and I'm not just talking about Tara, Lainy,
Sherri and Karen.
I'm talking about KIRSTEN PRICE.
We would like Kristen Price to come watch The L Word with us. Kristen, are
you reading this? That's right. We want your hot ass on our mini-couch (it's
actually really small, like three people max, but we can squish!) next
Sunday night, let's say--9:30pm. Feel free to wear a sleeveless shirt. I
always do.
This is Shane, watching the opening credits of "The L Word" and wondering
why the theme song sucks so bad.
Underneath Your Clothes: Shane is now a famous underwear model, like
Marky Mark. Nothing comes between Shane and her Calvins. Actually---that's
pretty much true so far this season. I mean, she's--like---okay, I'm sorry,
trying to type with this photo on my screen is like trying to type and
masturbate at the same time. I mean, chew and walk gum.
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"I'm so excited my blood is boiling!"
-Haviland
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I'll be giving out some valentines over the course of this re-cap. This
first one is to Angela, who wrote and directed this episode.
"What's the Story, Morning Glory? What's the Word, Mockingbird?"
Shane gets out of her meeting and tells Alice how bummed she is about having
to attend this premiere. Alice decides to invite everyone, because Shane
tells her to invite no-one. Heather said this scene would have been EVEN
COOLER (and it was pretty cool) if it was done more like the Zach Morris
help-line, which is an episode of Saved By The Bell I must have
missed.
Bette can't go to the "Roll the Dice" Premiere. Why?
Bette: "I can't go. Why? Because I have to work. Why do I have to
work? Because of the way that you broke up with Phyllis, she's completely
terrorizing my staff, she's already slashed my budget, it's a fucking
bloodbath over here--"
When Phyllis asks
Bette if she's heard from Alice, Bette says Alice is probably "busy with her
internet site." Yeah. Fat chance! Listen up "Our" Chart: I can only subsist
on being referred to as a breakfast pastry and jostled to watch videos of
Ilene talking about "the concept of circles" for so long. When do we do the
thing where I get to sleep with Papi?
"Tell me quick about Hugo and
Kim! Hi Margie! Hi Alice!"
"We're out of milk" (Helena, while eating cereal)
"What's the story, morning glory? What's the word, humming bird?"
I'll be there to support
your underwear.
Even though I'm questioning the selection of decals Alice obviously picked
up at Michal's Craft Store (while I was selecting some calico linen for
Papi's new do-rag) and glue-sticked to her transparent purple nursing-home
t-shirt, I am not questioning the quality of this scene or the erotic
potential of Papi's uniform.
Oh! Now I'm getting a phone call in real life! |
