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:: L U C K  B E  A  L A D Y ::
#4.6 Recap Blog by Riese



Tasha is beautiful, even when she yells.

Papi can't handle her bitches.

Tasha is beautiful, did I say that already? I wanna get in a fight and buy a car or join the National Guard so that she can kiss my eyelids.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK NOMINATION #5: ALICE, FOR "FUCK MY MOTHER!" (which she exclaims when she is knocked onto the ground by a flying Tasha. Mostly because it makes me think about Shane kissing Alice's mother, back when she was young and spry. "Your mother came on to me," she said, all swarthy and un-damaged. It was hot!)

Because Alice has a black eye, her and Tasha get to go to Alice's favorite place in all of West Hollywood, the hospital, where the lighting is always really blue. It's kind of like a date, almost, for like, Jerry Springery people.

Would it be really bad for me to say 'Ebony, and Ivory, livin' in perfect harmony?' I guess I'll find out.
Alice says she thinks her black eye will be cute. Tasha says she'll always be cute. I think you're both cute. Does anyone else notice that Tasha is so beautiful, she like, nearly radiates out of the TV and into my lap?

Lesbian Squabble #13: My friend Krista had this fight with my ex-boyfriend when he and I were still together in October 04, and it ended with him going "You're acting like just because I voted Republican I am like, personally killing Iraqi babies" and Krista was like "Well, you practically ARE!" And that was like, a big deal for a while. Anyhow he's a Democrat Now. And a cop.
In the Ring: Alice V. Tasha
Content/Result: Alice says "It's like fuckin' Iraq in here." I'd say that was a little forced, but that's totally something I would say. Luckily, Tasha says "I don't like George Bush any more than you do." But she has to go to Iraq because it's her job. Alice doesn't understand that very well because Alice never goes to work, and she certainly wouldn't go to work if she had to wear camo.

Hav: Oh, she's in the army. Is that why she dresses like that?
Me: No, it's 'cause they had dickies on clearance at Wal-Mart.
Jamie: I like the way she dresses.
Me: Yeah, I actually do too. I was kidding about the Dickies. I think she looks hot.
Sara: I like the way she dresses too.
Hav: Oh. I don't.
(Hav and Heather curl into a little ball of silk, lace, jewlery and form-fitting pants, I start wondering how to get my hands on some: Dickies, Tasha, Shane, K-Lilly, Bette, power tools.)


Lessons in Douche-baggery
Max realizes that being a man isn't fun when you have to hang out with men like these guys. He should work at the Dairy Queen 'cause all the boys there gave me free Blizzards, and that was cute. Or he should be in the NBA or be a designer for Heatherette. That's where the cutest boys are. Oh! Or Abercrombie.
(p.s. if that girl really did bite your hand, Douche bag, (the hand that "feeds her"), you'd probably come in your pants)

How About a Little Quiero lamer te hasta que te vengas en mi boca mil veces?
This is when Shane tells Paige that they can't get involved, because she will hurt her. I don't understand how she can have this conversation without noticing that it would take about .5 seconds to undress Paige right now.
Shay is probably inside having some Ovaltine.

Paige says they can be friends. That's good. We all know that "friends" means "let's spend so much time together that eventually we will become so curious about what the other one looks like naked that we'll you know, do it."

If "Cunt" Is a Foreign Language, then Yes, Yes You Are.

Stacey: "Check again! Am I speaking a foreign language?"

She is so Weinerdog right now.

Sara: My friend went on a date with Weinerdog.
Me: Oooh, how was it, can I write about it on the Blog?


(In the interest of good will amongst all NYC-based lesbians, I will say no more. Also I do heart Heather Matarazzo, and Dawn Weiner.)

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