More For Me : The "mistress" has sent Shane a note on a tray. That's
what rich people do you guys, they send notes on trays. (wtf?) Shane smells
it, I'm not sure why, probs it smells like pussy. Anyhow, Jenny and Adele
are waiting in line at the coat check (I think?) discussing how William is
so grateful to be involved in the movie as it'll redeem all these "terrible
things" he's done for money. Jenny is TOTALLY the best person to speak on
the topic of doing terrible things for money. And yeah, Inconceivable,
producing a Jenny Schecter film that essentially exploits lesbians and ruins
the lives of all her friends will defo redeem him. One-way road to the
kingdom of heaven heaven! Up up and AWAY! Free pass! The angels are waiting
Jenny, go and get 'em.
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Riese: "Check out Adele's BAGS."
Carly: "Is she homeless? Is that all her worldly possessions?"
Riese: "She's totally got a hairdryer in there, and like, product."
Carly: "I've got product in my bag."
Riese: "I know you do."
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SURPRISE! Jenny asks Adele to be her assistant. Adele is thrilled, best day
of her life. I hope this isn't gonna be like that girl who moved in with
Kelly Taylor and then took her haircut and then tried to kill her.
*
Get Yourself on Top Of Me Before I'm Gone, Gone, Gone : Shane goes
upstairs to Cherie Jaffee -- I mean -- Isabelle. Isabelle's got her leg up
on the desk and a drink in her hand. She asks Shane if she'd like a drink.
Shane thinks she'd better. have one, yeah. There seems to be this thing with
rich ladies who can buy anything they want and just want to have sex with a
girl. On this show. You know, you can buy that, too. Just sayin' ...
Lesbian Sexy Moment #8: I Want So Many Things. But In Terms of What You
Can Do For Me?
The Players: Shane and Isabelle.
The Pick Up: "Good, you know Shane, I wanna let you in on a little
secret. There's not a lot I haven't experienced. I can go anywhere I want,
buy anything I want, and it's starting to wear a little bit thin ... I want
you to take me somewhere I've never been."
Hot or Not?: Only because I'm still thinking about Cherie Jaffe.
Back in the hallway, Gina and Abigail can hear the lovely sounds of their
mother orgasming, which, judging by dear Inconceivable, I'm guessing is a
sound they haven't heard since the 80's. They protest: "Get away from her,
you cow, she's mine!" Mom barks back: "Shane needs a woman who can take her
places she's never been before, not some little twerp who barely knows how
to tongue kiss!" I've got no clue how Mom knows her daughter can barely
tongue kiss, but I'm willing to suspend my disbelief because that line was
fucking awesome.
Runaway Bridesmaids : This is amazing, this is the best show I've
ever seen in my life. Shane dashes, her pants are falling off, she's putting
on her shirt, she can't find the keys, then Jenny speeds by and she hops in
to the getaway car. Hope there was nothing valuable in those body bags.
------------------------------------------------------------
Alex: That would never happen.
Riese: Yeah it does!
Alex: Okay, it happens, but not to me.
Riese: It could totally happen to you, 85. We can make it happen.
Carly: This is not the way that anybody lives ...
Riese: That's what television is for!
Carly: True -- Mary Catherine Gallagher over here, like what the
fuck?
Riese: OMG I was totally thinking that girl looked like Mary
Catherine Gallagher
Cait: Totally.
------------------------------------------------------------
Despite all that whining and moaning, when the show ended, we were all
genuinely disappointed. Why? Because we actually wanted more show. We want
more show. We like this show! We like this show? This is gonna be one of
those things where everyone else hates the episode except me probs. Like
when I thought that basketball episode was the funniest thing I'd ever seen
in my life and no one else liked it. Sigh-o-Rama. Here's the thing -- it was
like Season One. A good solid television show, with a bunch of girls in
mediocre outfits interacting with each other and being friends and sometimes
lovers. At times over-the-top -- this is television, after all. There was
nothing in Season One that made me want to stick sporks in my eyes or in
Ilene Chaiken's eyes (note to IC:tenderly obvs, like I wouldn't blind you
for life, just temporarily, like S&M). No Frontierland forest scenes with
dead people appearing as mirages over waterfalls, no $6,000 designer jeans,
no dog-killing, no Dana with the conehead, no meditation retreats, no Henry
clipping his toenails, no Papi wearing Michael's Craft Store hats and big
hoop earrings, no BETTY, no Angus fucking the nanny when there hasn't been
one lesbian sex scene all season long, no Shane leaving Carmen at the altar,
no Alice making a Dana shrine, no Jenny publishing a story in The New
Yorker. The only ridiculous things about this episode were the storylines
continued from prior, less acceptable episodes: e.g., Jenny's movie.
However, seriously, Jodi, your phone is blowin' UP with all the decades
calling for that hairstyle back. Girl. Really. Really Jodi really? 'Til next
week ...
The Round-Up
Lesbian Sexy Moments: 5 this episode, 8 total.
Lesbian Squabbles: 3 this episode, 6 total.
Quote of the Week: Bette.
Papi Award: Jackie
On A Scale of One to Ten: Not bad!
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