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Alex: That's like, the story of our lives!
(This IS the way that we live, y'all!)
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*
Haviland picture time:
*
I Wish That We Didn't Have To Go About Things This Way: Bette & Jodi
are having lunch with Alice. All these people do is eat food and drink
coffee or alcohol, yet they weigh about 60 pounds apiece (except Shane,
she's like 50). Tina says her date went well and they're gonna do it again,
and I can't really tell if she believes herself or not -- either way, nicely
played. Bette is above almost everything in life, but she ain't above
jealousy. Bette asks what this Denise character does for a living, and Jodi
says that's a terrible question to ask and I agree with Jodi. For example,
what if Denise was a prostitute or a drug dealer or a priest or an
artist-killer? Awkward! They've got some exposition to go over: They don't
know why Tasha's been deployed. Shane's trying to get past the Paige stuff,
do they really think Paige burned Wax down? Burn, burn, burn your life down.
I love Tegan & Sara. Look at all the pretty girls. Alice seems concerned
that things'll keep escalating for Shane's jilted lovers. I dunno, the
banner/billboard incidents from Season One were pretty intense.
Too Bad It Wasn't Brian Kinney: Tom said he just pissed next to the
cutest boy. Story of my life! You guys though it totes was not a boy! It was
MAX! AKA MOIRA!! OMG! What if I wrote this entire blog in LOLCAT? I don't
know what that is, because I don't like cats or out-loud laughter. But just
an idea. In this scene, Leisha totally looks like she thinks her lines are
retarded and she's having a hard time saying them. Although, I guess it's
not like people don't talk in exposition ever. Tina's gotta bust to get her
dress for the big wedding! I wish it was Kermit and Miss Piggy's wedding,
that's probs my favorite wedding of all time. Look ladies, you've all got
some issues with same-day dry-cleaning. Doesn't anyone know how to plan
ahead? What are they, me?
*
Lesbian Sexy Moment #5: Always Fucking the Bridesmaid, Never The Bride
The Players : Shane and Abigail
The Pick-Up: Um, "Do me"? "Hi"? Don't know, don't care, they're
fucking, I approve.
Hot or Not? : Yeah, sure! Shane is Back! Shane's back! Totes. Pretty
girl, Shane, the implication of bouncing breasts -- A+. Also, this is the
best show I've ever seen in my life.
*
You're a Fighter, Not a Lover : Hi-ho! Off to the military we go!
This is like Major Dad or M.A.S.H., two of many shows I wasn't allowed to
see as a child. Beech says he didn't expect to see Tasha back so soon.
"Well, I didn't ask and I didn't tell you to come back," Carly adds in her
Modern Major General voice. Tasha says she's back 'cause she's seeking
council 'cause she's under investigation and though she hasn't been formally
notified she imagines it's for homosexual conduct. Tash! What are you
thinking?!!You're supposed to say, "I've got NO clue what it could POSSIBLY
be for, I was just telling my husband Joe McStraightieStraight last night--
what on earth? Did I take extra bombs? Go over my tank quota? I was certain
I'd not taken any extra rations." Beech is not interested in representing
her, though the look on his face suggests otherwise:
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