Ok whoa!! Last week I was talking about this show like it was the real deal
and now it's letting us down, just like our first wife! Episode 503:
"Letdown." The first scene: pure, unadulterated bliss. Everything following
the first scene: so terrible, I found myself often accidentally/constantly
sticking my finger in Alex's ear. She actually likes it a little bit, she
just won't admit it. We've had an emotional few days, but um, I'm pretty
sure that this episode was bad all on its own. If not, I apologize to
everyone, but most of all to my BFF Ilene Chaiken, for my rash and unfair
judgment of her tender masterpiece. You can make it up to me with a cupcake
from the new Magnolia! How exciting.
Haiku to Ilene Chaiken:
Really? Why now?
OurChart OurChart Our
Chart Really Ilene?
But Now a Message From Our Sponsors: I've concluded this program
wasn't intended for premium cable drama programming. Clearly it's a
compilation tape of several commercials & product plugs and public service
announcements. Therefore, instead of watching these adverts all the way
through and subsequently boring you with the tedious details, at many points
in this recap, I've simply linked to a more informative video for you to
view at your leisure. It's like the future!
Also, in the past, I've made self-deprecating statements like, "I'm not
funny anymore, this recap isn't funny," etc. but I'm serious this time. I
promise to rock your socks off next week, fo'serious. Urmmm ... obvs it's a
little late, and as you know, I never recap late, clearly there's a
mysterious reason for this that also means I'm not super-clever right now
but does mean I am an X-Men person. Oh but also feel free to yell at me
about not being funny, I enjoy S & M. Just check my OurChart profile.
Really, I dare you. It's not weird to meet people on the internet.
*
1. By "Taloo" I meant "Talum." I was just making sure y'all knew how to read
a map and spell words in languages. Would you like to travel to Talum?
Check it.
2. This is not the way that we live.
3. Not my mistake, but: it's "obvs" not "obs." OBs are
tampons.
4. Shane is reminded of Carmen, not Dana. I'm not correcting myself, I'm
correcting everyone who disagrees with me. I will fight everyone to the
death on this. Watch out, I'm a Reiki Master and I know people who know
people who might know your people, watch me go!
5. Carly says we didn't invite her to watch the show this week, which isn't
true. We texted her at about two, twice, to see if she wanted to hang out
and got no response. Then when we decided to watch the show on Saturday
night, we somehow miscommunicated that Alex had reached out once again and
told Carly about our plans. Alex has confirmed that she did not do this.
Still though. I've got her opinion, and I'll be sharing it with you in a
little bit. Also, we love her, etc.
*
6. OK, just to make myself feel better, I watched the first five minutes of
Episode 504 to see if I've got anything to look forward to, and it was
pretty good. No worries guys, second chances for everyone, everything's
gonna be fine.
*
How Do You Talk to Charlie's Angels: The opening scene is delightful
-- it's Alice's dream about Jenny's movie and also, coincidentally -- our
dream about Jenny's movie! It's Charlie's Angels! In fact, Alex and Haviland
found themselves attracted to Kate Moennig, that's how good it was.
Personally, I've never had trouble seeing her appeal, in fact, it was my
obsession with Shane that got me into
this mess to begin with.
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Haviland [speaking too soon]: "This is the best L Word episode I've
ever seen you guys."
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*
We're hearting Helena's denim jumpsuit, Alice's high camp attitude, Kate
femming it up (I like her better andro, but that's just me) ... we can't
wait to parody this in our vlog.
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