All The Mocha Lattes You Better Do Pilates: Well, that was nice, did
we all have fun? Okay, now the pain begins. First, we're at the gym, because
exercise
is good for you. Shane's been at the gym since 5:30 A.M., you can tell this
pretty easy if you check out her new biceps, they're bulging, she's Bowflex
material. Also, she shouldn't work out for that long, it's bad for you,
she's gonna go crazy, it looks like she's on too much Adderall. Shane's
given up sex 'cause she wants "no more drama," and it's purifying her whole
entire soul & body. You may remember this from the preview. Jenny's also at
the gym with her new assistant, who might be sketchy, they can't decide. Is
this boring to read about? It was also boring to watch.
Tina hasn't been on a date in a while. Luckily, Alice has the solution:
they're gonna browse profiles on OurChart to find Tina a date. You know,
OurChart ? I hope so,
because you're on it.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Riese: "Oh, no."
Alex: "Oh, no."
Riese: "Did you see that?"
Haviland: "What?"
Alex: "Written by Ilene Chaiken."
Haviland: "Ohhh." [groans, but not in a good way] "Fuck."
---------------------------------------------------------------
*
If Tina meets someone on OurChart, then this is officially really no longer
the way that we live.
*
The T is for TranTastic, Obvs: Grace is back! There's hope! I thought
she was in The Vortex. They're having a "conversation" about Tom's
attraction to Max, but the point of the convo is actually that transgendered
persons can change what gender they're attracted to when they transition!
It's all just very complicated. Transexuals:
check it.
Also, what we'd really like to hear them talk about is why they aren't still
dating.
Here's Tom and Jodi, enjoying some lemonade and conversation:
*
I Walk For Dana Fairbanks: Shane and Alice and Tina are doing this
scene
we already did in the gym (where Shane's like, "don't touch me!" to all
the ladies). Everyone wants to touch Shane's abs. Then they begin discussing
the Breast Cancer Walk. Wanna know about that?
Check it
.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Haviland: "Side effects of watching the L Word are nausea,
vomiting--"
Alex: "And self-hatred."
---------------------------------------------------------------
*
I Would Go To Jail With Only Boys Just to Prove I Was As Tough As You
: This is the most erotic moment of the episode, we almost died. Helena's
strolling through the jailyard with her toothpick and her superhot 'tude,
lookin' for her girl. It's almost like she's got a whole new personality.
I'm beginning to think that Helena might really be mental. Anyhow, this
personality is hot and it reminds us of Original Helena (or "og" for those
of you down with the jive). We even want to make it a lesbian sexy moment,
that's how hot it was. Anyhow, they wouldn't be allowed to just kiss like
that. This isn't Cancun. Helen & Bunny are obvs in love. They're the hottest
chickens in the chicken coop, they're gonna ride off together into the
sunset like in Chicken Run.
* |
