Lesbian Squabble #7: I'm Always Right, I'm Always Wrong
In the Ring : Jodi vs. Bette
Content: Bette's got a reception for David Hockney and so she can't
go to Big Bear this weekend. Good call, I wouldn't go anywhere with that
woman Jodi, y'all are always fighting, I don't think this relationship is
gonna work (unless Bette's one of those girls that just likes drama for the
sake of drama, but usually those girls are unemployed and not busy, defo
they don't have major donor receptions.) Jodi tells Bette it's the first
time that Jodi's invited someone to Big Bear. It's a big deal, how DARE
Bette not go? So Bette says she'll go, because apparently she's just lost
all her brain cells. That must be very disarming for her, she clearly needs
some touch football to exercise the ol' noggin again.
And The Winner Is ... : Jodi I guess, she did get what she wanted.
But also she's a bitch, so that's that.
You guys, I have this weird feeling that Bette and Jodi aren't gonna last.
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Haviland: "I feel like every conversation they have is apologizing."
Riese: "Love means never having to say you're sorry."
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I'm Looking for Love. Real love. Ridiculous, Inconvenient, Consuming,
Can't-Live-without-Each-Other Love: Haviland thinks Jodi's on her way to
Russia where she's going to fall in the Dior store. I would have to say I
agree with her. I miss Sex and the City. That show was cheesy ... but it was
so tight. Not "tight" like a virgin (e.g., Madonna), but "tight" like quick,
witty, and smart.
*
Deaf People LOVE Podcasts: Then Alice comes over to interview Jodi
for her podcast, which I'm guessing is about as interesting as Grammar Girl.
Actually, I love Grammar Girl. How come Alice hasn't gotten to do anything
really super-awesome yet this season? It's like they're taking her for
granted. Howevs, before they can get to the podcasting, they've got to plug
OurChart. I couldn't sit through this scene, it hurt too much.
The Really Papi Really Award for Most Painfully Terrible Lines of the
Episode:
Alice: "Tina, there's nothing wrong with meeting someone on the
Internet."
Tina: "It's weird!"
Shane: "It's less random than a blind date, and you can find out all
about the girl before you waste your time having lunch with her."
Jodi: "That makes total sense. Mind if I join you?'
Okay, so basically what happens next is literally a commercial for
OurChart. I couldn't
handle it then and I can't now. Seriously I don't even want to talk about
it, just look at it,
okay? OurChart, you can meet people there, I've written some articles
for them and also read some really fantastic writing there, it's the way
that we live, you're on it, gay people are everyday people. You know,
they've got some great content here and there, they should stop ruining it
by talking about it all the time like this on the show. Um, on my OurChart
profile, my occupation is "crack dealer," but so far no requests. I'm just
throwin' it out there. (JK! Totes have never seen crack, etc.) (Totes do not
have an occupation, just a lot of feelings.)
I'm going to Kentucky Fried Chicken right now, getting some mashed potatoes,
giving them to a homeless person, and taking the sporks and then sticking
them in my eyes. Like Oedipus. IC, you were like a mother to me, and now you
are betraying me just when I needed you the most.
Since watching this scene, I've run myself over, brought myself back to
life, re-animated myself, and run myself over again. Somehow, after all
that, I'm still here.
*
I Love The Smell of Homophobia in the Morning : Tasha's getting
kicked out of the army for homosexual conduct, and the Asshat's been
assigned to her case. This'd be a great opp for him to step forth like a
triumphant man from a John Grisham novel and rip the army a new asshole, but
instead he's just going to be an asshole. He tells Tasha that she's been
seen with a group of openly lesbian women at the racetrack (yes, let's take
a moment to blame Rothberg) and in a parking lot having a lovers' quarrel.
Then he brings up stuff about her and Martinez -- stuff she says she didn't
do. Wanna know all about don't ask don't tell?
Check
It. I'm glad they're doing this story, honestly, I think it's one of the
best parts of the episode, even if it gets a little heavy-handed.
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Haviland: "He's telling! I thought it was don't ask don't tell! But
he's telling and asking!"
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