I Was the Best I Ever Was With You People : This is starting to feel
like a bad 80's movie you pick up at Blockbuster 'cause someone like Ione
Skye or John Cusack is in it -- then you get it home, pop it in, and after
about ten minutes start wondering: this is really boring, is anything
happening? They're trying to cajole Bette into participating in the Big Bear
tradition of a morning mojito. Unfortunately, Bette doesn't drink much.
Howevs, much like Haviland -- who doesn't drink at all -- she'd probs find
us much less annoying if she were drunk, which's probs why all these Big
Bear buddies are toking away (to find each other less annoying). See, here
Alex is using a similar strategy:
The Big Chill Bear Club is thrilled to finally meet the famous Bette.
Between their emoting, their emotions, and the sign language, there is just
a lot going on, and Bette's understandably overwhelmed. Then they really
crack out the Awkward when a friend comments that it's nice to put a face to
"those grunts and groans." Yeah, that's right, they're totally talking about
last night.
"You girls got in late, but you weren't so tired," they kid. Bette's
uncomfortable but Jodi's probs confused, she didn't hear any grunts and
groans. JK, she's into it. Bette excuses herself because she forgot
something (her mind). That's when I'd run into the other room and call
Haviland. I'd be like: "Last night Steve and I spent an hour in front of the
fire holding hands." Oh whoops, I'm quoting Sex and the City again.
*
Stop the
Insanity: Shane's still at the gym, I hope this is a marathon for a
good cause. She's telling Tina that she's put in the claim for the fire,
gotten rid of all her low-riding jeans, and is planning on quitting smoking
and setting goals like visiting Shay. She says the celibacy thing is like a
master cleanse. (Check
It) Tina mentions she's gone long periods of time without sex, and it
didn't have a "salubrious" effect on her. Shane adds that she's trying to
expand her vocabulary. Tina's going on a date tonight and doesn't know what
to wear on a date with a heart doctor. Um, do you dress differently
depending on what your date's medical specialty is? Not like I'd ever date a
doctor
*
My Doctor Told Me To Avoid Any Activities Where Balls Fly at My Face
: Bette's trying to do work while Jodi's friends yell at her about not
playing touch football. One of 'em trots on over with his opinion to tell
her they call the house the Sistine Chapel, and p.s., it's in violation to
work on Big Bear weekends. Bette's like "Well, I guess I'll just have to
take the infraction and whatever the punishment is." I love Bette. We've
decided our entire lives will change for the better if Bette could just get
hit in the face like Marcia Brady by the football. Not 'cause we don't love
Bette, but 'cause it'd be awesome. Then the Biggest Douchebag trots over
(socks and plaid shorts and a ponytail = never a good sign), we call him Sir
Lancelot. He says she's gotta play. She refuses. He proceeds to lift her up,
carry her to the water, and drop her in:
Bette: this is your cue to break up with Jodi. My friends would never do
that to my girlfriend, but also, my friends would never make me go camping
for a weekend let alone bring my girlfriend who obviously does her hair and
wears nice slacks and has work to do. We all feel collectively horrified and
upset for Bette.
*
Live Nature Love!: Shane is meditating in a Free City shirt, I heart
Free City. She's distracted by the noises of Jenny and Max. Max asks Jenny
to listen to his podcast, but she's gotta go out to a screening and bumps
into Shane, who's now in warrior pose. How do people do this? Shane wonders.
They don't. She should try masturbating, no drama. But actually Shane's
being really funny.
|
