Max: I made a podcast. and I haven't shown it to Alice yet, and I'm
just really looking for someone's opinion.
Shane: I can tell you my opinion if you want it! (jumps up and down
like she's on speed)
Max: (humble & cute) Really?
Shane: (eager and energetic, like she's on speed): You want my
opinion?
Max: (aw) Sure!
Shane: Well, great, my head is fine, I haven't dealt with any
bullshit or drama, so what do I do? Press play?
Aw, I hope she likes Max's podcast. Maybe they'll become besties now.
Haviland is on her Blackberry. Where is the Lady of the Lake? Oh, that was
Bette. I would eat a waffle now, just to have something to do and syrup
however you'd like to pronounce it.
*
I Got So City Girl On You: Bette comes downstairs like she's heading
into the lion's den -- 'cause she kinda is. Sir Lancelot says "Hey Bette,
why don't you start the rue." Bette responds, brilliantly: "I haven't the
fainest idea how to make a rue." I actually cook a lot and also don't know
how to make a rue, but apparently Alex does, she seems to be talking about
it right now.
Sir Lancelot then asks Bette what she's doing to produce equanimity in
today's overpriced art market, which's Jodi's cue to say, "Stop it, you're
being an asshole." Instead she's like, "doo doo doo I love rue." Bette
handles the whole situation with characteristic finesse, per always, though
you can see the hot fires of anger burning her beautiful face. Lancelot
wants to tell Bette about the fantastic community art show he curated that's
probs got better stuff in it than the Eric Fishelbone she's got in her
collection. "I doubt there were even ten paintings at your local art show
that were comparable," she says, icy, and he asks how she could doubt it
when she's probably not seen any art outside of NYC and LA ever. She looks
at Jodi for support, but Jodi declines her, and so she offers: "I haven't
seen a community art show in a really long time, and I'd love to see some of
the pieces that you're so excited about." She's either lying through her
teeth or seeing how far Jodi'll let her stoop before she butts in.
Apparently, there are no limits to Jodi's unworthiness. Lancelot says Bette
rocks his world and does some awkward hand gestures. He's being a douchebag,
but I've totally known people like this, IC is pretty spot-on in this scene.
In case everyone's forgotten what great art looks like, let me remind you:
*
Doesn't She Look Like The Girl From Sweet Valley High?: Speaking of
great art! Tina and her date have finished dinner at The Planet II and have
returned to Heart Doctor's chateau for a little chat 'n chew. Tina's
impressed by her date's art collection and surprised because it WASN'T ON
HER PROFILE. That's how people feel when they meet me and discover I'm not
on crack and though I claim to not like insane girls, I'm a bit off myself.
It's all about selective sharing, Ti-ti. "I'm sure it doesn't compare to
your ex's collection," the girl says. Tina apologizes for talking so much
about Bette, and the girl says it's okay, let's have some wine. Right-o.
*
She Needs the Itty Bitty Titty Committee STAT: Kit's putting all her
hard-earned cash in an envelope. That's convenient, because if
hypothetically someone were to hold her up and say he'd take all that money,
he could just snag it all right then and there without any messin' around
with emptying shit. Also, what is she wearing? Just a sidenote.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Haviland: "She should get up and be like FREEZE MUTHERFUCKER!"
Alex: "Nanny-fucking motherfucker!"
-------------------------------------------------------------
*
Lesbian Sexy Moment #9: Hunngry Hearts
The Players: Tina and The Girl from Sweet Valley High
The Pick Up: "Augmented." (re: the girls' boobs) Funny, I was
thinking we'd gloss over that. Nice.
Hot or Not: Wtf is going on? I feel like we're watching lesbian soft
core porn. And by "lesbian" I mean porn made for straight males. Tina's
touching that girl's boobs like she's never seen bare breasts before in her
life. The music is like unbearable. She asks Tina to "spread her legs open"
and asks Tina if she likes it when she talks dirty. Tina responds by kissing
her. I'd respond by saying, "When are you going to start talking dirty?" or
else kissing her, which is code for "shut the fuck up." Also, IC, if you
think this is talking dirty, I'm really sad for you, seriously, let's do
lunch. "Lunch."
*
Missed Redemption Opp: If Elizaicca had whipped out a whip and chains and
been like "What's my name, bitch?! Say my name!" and then made Tina get on
all fours, that would've been funny.
*
|
