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:: L E A S T  L I K E L Y ::
#6.02 Recap Blog by Riese

This is what I do: I recap. I keep score. I count the number of Lesbian Sex Moments, Lesbian Foreplay Moments, Non-Lesbian Sex Moments and Lesbian Squabbles. I give you your weekly Kittism and your weekly Jenny Moment and your Quote of the Week. I give you Screencaps.



Shane Shane Shane. Jenny Jenny Jenny Jenny. Redrum. Hello! Welcome to the Romper Room. Today we'll be observing episode 602 of The L Word, titled "Least Likely." As in "The L Word is the teevee program least likely to be good." I'm flying from Los Angeles to New York City this afternoon/evening so if this gets to your neck of the planet prior to your actual viewing, then you know. Just wait and read it after.

Hey guess what, I got a gig on Showtime, I'm the new Lezberado. You should watch it. Apparently a bajillion people already have. Who was the old Lezberado, you may ask. I have no idea. Let's not dwell though. Not today! Not on L Word Day! We didn't dwell on Dana's death, so ...

This week's viewing party was attended by Carly, Robin, Alexi, A;ex, Tinkerbell and ... me! Actually from now on I'd like you to refer to me as "Easy Street." That's where you can pick up the train that goes to Lezzie Town.

We open on Nikki, looking Brett-Easton-Ellis-novel coked out, in bed with a trampy blue-bikinied groupie. The groupie paws at Nikki and moans that being sad is so boring. Good point. Well it could be worse, it could be sad + Holocaust paper dolls + creepy poltergeist music.

Nikki gets up, incensed, and parades around the MTV Cribs beach-house yelling like a crazy person: "She called ME she wanted ME and then she goes all Paris and Britney on me fucks me all night long and then she has the nerve to call me a showmance! I don't even know what the fuck that means!"

Like in Showmeo and Juliet

Well, Nikki has recovered nicely from the brain damage she suffered between seasons 5 and 6 -- although she lost 75% of her brain cells, her motor skills are well above par and she seems to have found a similarly brain-damaged peer group.

"Brakchi" on the TWOP board noted that "what Ilene has done [in Season Six] is rob Nikki of her vulnerability and sincerity [which she had in Season Five.]" Exactly.

Alex: "I wanna watch a teevee show about those girls!"
Riese: "I think it's called '
Gimme Sugar.'"

I'm gonna replace you with SUNSET TAN, beeotch!
I'm gonna go there way more than I ever talk to you! Put your ribs away!

Nikki says the girl in the blue bikini is officially out of her Top Five for positing: "I wonder who it is that broke her heart?" That's fine, she can go be in Maxim's Top Five.

Carly: "This episode of The L Word is brought to you by T-Mobile!"
Caitlin: "And Whole Foods!"
Robin: [cheesy voice] "Hey Guys! My name is SHANE! And this is my BAG! From Whole Foods!"
Riese: [ditto] "There's enough hummus in it for everyone in your Top Five! From T-Mobile!"

Riese: "I think Nikki's on coke."
Carly: "This is gonna be the part of the show where everyone starts saying they're gonna kill Jenny Schecter."
Riese: "Jenny is DEAD meat!"
Carly: "I'm gonna KILL her!"
Riese: "Who's dead to you NOW, Jenny? Yeah?"

To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Kit Porter

I think this is the Halloween episode of My So-Called Life, or at least these outfits are. One of Kit Porter's many fans, a drag queen named "Sunset Boulevard," is joining the team at HIT, along with at least ten yards of gold lamè. They'll probs fall in love, she's definitely Kit's type. You know, the drag king, T.O.E., the lesbian Don Juanita, the scruffy acoustic Manny, etc. Kit has a kid, so I guess she must've been married once. I wish she'd had a relationship with Slim Daddy. I think Kit's type is "crazy-ass motherfuckers." Well, I was a superfan of Ivan 'til her character changed in Season Two.

Drinking game suggestion -- every time someone references being a HUGE Kit Porter fan, take a drink. Of sparkling grape juice.

Doesn't Helena look good in glasses?

Kit makes a very amazing noise here:
"OOOO GIRL!! Somebody's been working OUT!"
I'm 90% sure that SB thinks Kit & Helena are girlfriends. Which'd make as much sense as anything else that's ever happened to Helena.


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The L Word Online has been designed by Oz and Slicey.  Unique images designed by Oz.  Site maintained by Oz & Slicey.  This website is intended to be fun and informative, and was created with respect to show appreciation for the women and men involved in the creation of TV's first real lesbian drama.  This site is not endorsed, sponsored, or affiliated with Showtime Networks Inc., the television series "The L Word," or any person involved in the making of the show.  No copyright infringement is intended.  Images and other borrowed content are copyright their respective owners.  Credit is given where due.  All original content is the sole property of  the creators of The L Word Online copyright October 2003.