Thought that Shane, Alice and Dana were a tad missing from this episode?
The following are script excerpts that were written but never made it to our
INT. PADDY WAGON - AFTERNOON
Alice, Shane, Isabella and Candace on one side. Graham,
Marilyn and three other Coalition activists on the other.
All in handcuffs. The door opens and Dana stumbles in.
This isn't happening. My parents --
Here's the upside. By comparison, your
parents will no longer think you being a
lesbian is such a big deal.
As she squeezes onto the bench next to Alice, the door
This is absurd. I ' m going to call my --
Bette flies acros6 the van over Dana, Shane and Alice and
lands on Candace's lap. She sighs, manoeuvres herself to a
sitting position. The paddy wagon door is locked from the
outside and it starts to move. Alice and Marilyn happen
to find themselves looking at one another. Alice winks.
Hey, good lookin'.
Marilyn looks away, mortified.
EXT. CITY JAIL - PRISONER LOADING DOCK - AFTERNOON
The paddy wagon backs into a loading dock. Several police
officers stand on either side, and looming above them on
the steps, arms folded across her chest, looking for all
the world like the B movie icon she's fashioned after, is
the PRISON MATRON. The doors to the paddy wagon open and
our crew file out, men on one side, women on the other.
The matron looks them all over, leering. She especially
looks Shane up and down. Shane meets her gaze.
You look like trouble.
Oh, don't worry your honor. Just keep her
away from the ladies and you won't have
any trouble with her.
(hushed, to Alice)
Yeah, shut up.
INT. CITY JAIL - WOMEN'S PRISON - RECEPTION - LATER
A young, pretty POLICEWOMEN stands by the desk with a
clipboard, reading off names as the ladies file past. The
matron stands, watching.
Pernao, Isabella ... Fairbanks, Dana...
I'd like to keep this out of the papers.
Dream on, Fairbanks.
Havelock, Marilyn ... Pie... Piesz...
Pieszecki, okay? Pieszecki, Alice. What's
so hard about that?
Shut up, Py-Zee-Kee.
We see Shane, about to be processed, and behind her
Candace and then Bette, who has her sunglasses on.
NT. WOMEN 'S PRISON - RECEPTION - MOMENTS LATER
Another pretty POLICEWOMAN continuing the processing.
Purses and handbags are piled on the counter top.
Remove your shoes, any hard objects
including combs or bobby pins, all
watches, cell phones --
She reaches for Shane's cell phone. Shane backs away like
a frightened deer.
Oh boy. That's like taking away her life support.
Policewoman #1 steps toward Shane. Shane takes another
step away. She backs into Dana, who gently puts her arm
around her and eases the cell phone out of her hand.
It's okay, Shane. Hang tight. It's gonna
I also need your jewellery, your eye
Now it's Bette's turn to recoil.
You're just high if you think you're
getting my Chanel sunglasses.
Policewomen #2 grabs Bette's sunglasses right off her
face, hands them back to Policewoman #1, who immediately
puts them on and takes out a mirror to admire herself.
You'll be hearing from my lawyer.
INT. WOMEN'S PRISON - RECEPTION - MOMENTS LATER
Marilyn is stripped to her underwear as one of the pretty
policewomen takes liberties under the guise of doing a
strip search. The others wait in line behind her. Alice
pushes past Shane.
Ooh eee, I'm next.
Shane pulls her back and reclaims her place in line.
Wait your turn.
INT. WOMEN'S PRISON - MOMENTS LATER
The policewomen double teaming to fingerprint all of the
prisoners. Alice does her print, then turns and presses
her finger on Marilyn's nose, blows her a little kiss.
INT. WOMEN 'S PRISON - SHOT LINEUP - MOMENTS LATER
A series of quick cuts as each of the prisoners is
photographed. Dana tries to cover her face.
INT. CITY JAIL - HOLDING TANK - MOMENTS LATER
Alice, Shane, Dana, Isabella and Marilyn are shoved into
a large holding cell . Seven or eight other women in there --
mostly drunks and prostitutes. They look our girls
over like pastries in a pastry case. The meanest, MAISY,
clucks her tongue.
My, my, what have we got here?
Another, DAISY, steps up to Dana and snarls.
What are you in for?
Assault and disorderly conduct ...
(as if this were a boast)
Whoop de daa.
Maisy grabs Daisy, pulls her in close. Alice looks at Daisy.
She your bitch?
What's it to you?
Alice points to Marilyn, who is cowering behind them,
obviously finding them preferable to the other prisoners.
She's my bitch.
Daisy looks Marilyn over, nods, impressed. A Latina
vixen, CARMEN, steps up to Shane and points to Dana.
She your bitch, mama?
No, she's not my bitch.
Then I'm gonna make her my bitch.
Shane steps in between Carmen and Dana.
Come on, back off.
Carmen whips out a switchblade. As she comes at Shane
with it, Isabella spins around and does a flying reverse
hook kick that sends it skittering across the cell.
Don't try that again, bitch.
Everyone else in the cell takes a step back from
Isabella, even Daisy and Maisy.
INT. CITY JAIL - HOLDING TANK - NIGHT
Most of the prisoners are eating. Alice, Shane and Dana
just sit with their trays of slop in front of them. Maisy
comes and planks herself down in front of them.
What's a matter? This food not good
enough for you?
She's staring them down. Alice and Dana look away, but
Shane takes her on. Without breaking eye contact, Shane
reaches slowly for her spoon, dips it in her bowl of
slop, brings it to her lips. She sucks the slap off the
spoon, tries to down it, and can't. It's vile.
Involuntarily, she spits. The slop goes all over Maisy.
YOU LITTLE BITCH, YOU ASKED FOR IT!
Maisy scoops up a handful of Shane's mashed potatoes,
throws it at her. Alice takes a fistful of her soggy
vegetables and hurls it across the cell at Daisy; and you
know what happens after that.
INT. CITY JAIL - SHOWERS - MOMENTS LATER
Alice, Shane, Dana, Isabella, Marilyn, Daisy, Maisy,
Carmen and the two or three other women who were in the
holding cell, hosing down in the group shower.
ANOTHER ANGLE: The big fat prison matron, pressed against
the wall where no one can see her, watching, breathing
INT. CITY JAIL - SHOWERS - MOMENTS LATER
Alice looks right, looks left, slips out from under the
shower stream. Sees clean prison scrubs piled on a bench
nearby. She considers, looks around - she goes for the
scrubs. Motions to Shane and Dana. They follow suit.
Alice leads them to the bathroom stalls, they quickly get
dressed. Alice then opens the door to the farthest stall.
There's a heating grate on the wall, just big enough for
a person to crawl in. Alice jogs it a few times and the
grate lifts off. Remarkably easily. Alice motions to
Shane and Dana.
No way. I'm not going in there.
INT. CITY JAIL - OFFICER'S LOUNGE - NIGHT
Policewoman #2 enters just in time to catch Alice, Shane
and Dana crawling out of the grate and into the lounge.
Alice sees her as she gets to her feet.
Uh oh. Listen, I can explain ...
Come on. Back in your pen.
You're not gonna throw us in solitary
confinement are you?
Someone will be in for you in a few
minutes. You're outta here.
Where are we going?
They look at one another, terrified,
Damn you, Alice.
Alice looks sheepish.
INT. CITY JAIL HOLDING TANK
Policewoman #1 has opened the cell door.
McCutcheon, Fairbanks, Pie... pee. ..
And Pernao. Let's go.
Are we being sent up the river?
Policewoman #1 stares at Dana for a moment.
You're being released.
The four get to their feet, eager to go. Maisy looks over
at Marilyn, sitting by herself on a bench, whimpering.
She saunters over and hovers in a predatory way.
What's a matter doll face? You don't like
the company in here?
Alice steps in between Marilyn and Maisy.
Maisy leans toward Alice, menacing.
Why should I?
umm...Well...Because she's my woman.
And I will rip your heart out if you so
much as lay a finger on my woman.
Maisy stares at Alice for another beat, then backs off,
goes and sits down on the bench next to Daisy.
Shane, Dana and Isabella file out of the cell. Alice
follows after them, but looks back at Marilyn. Winks.
Marilyn ventures a little smile in return, though not a
very sincere one.
INT. CITY JAIL - -PRISON - RECEPTION - NIGHT
Alice, Shane, Dana and Isabella emerge. The three fling
their arms around Kit and Tina, ebullient.
Oh my god, you guys --
Are you okay? Anybody mistreat you?
Prison is wack, guys. Crime does not pay
Thank god you're here. You saved us.