Episode 502 - Look out! Here they come!

'L' stands for Lust in this week's episode of The L Word as Shane lets her libido get her into a whole mess of trouble and Helena learns the joys of being shacked up in jail with a hot cellmate. Let's be honest, an L Word episode full of lesbian sex is just what the doctor ordered to offset the pain of the season opener's Jenny Schecter madness.
The first spoken line of The L Word this week pretty much sums it up: "More lesbian sex, I want more of it!" Hell yeah! Though I must personally say it was somehow oddly not hot at all to see Jennifer Beals and Katherine Moennig making out in the 'fantasy' intro. Talk about lack of chemistry…

Contrary to Jenny's comment that nobody ever wants to see Nina (a.k.a. Tina) having sex, however, the fantasy scene between Moennig and Laurel Holloman was delicious. I'll have more of that with a slice of Leisha Hailey in the middle please. As for Bev (Bette) and Helen (Helena)—hysterical, but oddly embarrassing…

Speaking of Helena, who didn't expect her to eventually get down and dirty with her muscle-bound cellmate? Okay, so no surprise there, but leave it to The L Word creators to add a giggle to an otherwise super-hot sex scene by making the tough prison dyke a tax fraud rather than a homicidal maniac. Very cute ladies. That goes ditto for the 'classic' dropping the soap prison scene, which frankly was just an excuse for having Rachel Shelley naked for another extended period of time—just admit it. Not that we're complaining, of course. Though the girl could use a little more meat on her bones. She nearly vanishes when she turns sideways.



Scooting over to our other sexpot, Shane, did anyone else think having her hopping from bridesmaid to bridesmaid to bride's mom was just a bit too contrived? Far be it from me to say anything negative about seeing Moennig getting it on with three lovelies in one day—but come on. I know it's Los Angeles, but this was stretching the suspension of disbelief a little much—even the bride goes in for a lip lock? What is this, all the bi-curious babes lined up in one event?

Obviously the L Word powers-that-be want a good reason for plunging Shane down the road to self-imposed celibacy (as hinted at in previews), but a tangle of women in wedding attire chasing her down the street? One would think having your most recent ex burn down your business would have been enough of a clue without all the silly fluff of Shane laying half a wedding party.

On the subject of missing the obvious, when is Tina just going to give in and admit she wants back in Bette's pants and stop pussyfooting around with unsuitable replacements? The wait to see Bette and Tina back in action again is unbearable. Plus, we can't wait to see the shit hit the fan when Bette inevitably cheats on Jodi as we all know she must. The whole Bette being jealous over Jodi's other girlfriends in the last season was entirely foreshadowing of Bette's own inability to keep her hands to herself—we know it. Now show it! Not that we don't love Jodi, of course. Marlee Matlin is fabulous, sexy and fun, but Bette needs a girl to dominate properly and Jodi just ain't it. And hey, L Word hair people, what is up with Jodi's locks anyway? Looks like a crimping iron got out of hand or something...



I wonder if perhaps Max (Daniela Sea) might be interested in a little domination. I must say, the idea of Max hooking up with Jodi's cute interpreter boy Tom (Jon Wolfe Nelson) was a delightful little amusement this week. After all, Moira/Max has hooked up with a gay boy before—remember that weird make out session with Alan Cumming a while back? Some might get all up in arms about having a former lesbian transman end up snogging with a gay man, but I'm all for it.

Human sexuality is a rainbow of diversity and the more complicated it gets, the more like real life it truly is. It was actually rather sad when Alice went from bisexual to pure lesbo and I personally think Tina would be much happier as a bi gal—but that's just me. Having a true bisexual character on The L Word would be terrific, having a bi trans character would be even more tasty.

Getting past the hookups and the fun speculation, we turn to the serious side of The L Word—namely, Tasha and her impending "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" battle. I loved the smackdown Tasha received when her old military buddy basically told her she was an abomination for being queer. Why? Because that's life people. When you hide who you are, you can't expect people to honestly care about you and respect you when they find out you've been living a lie. It's a lesson Tasha needs to seriously come to term with—along with half the population.



Rose Rollins plays the stoic Tasha beautifully, but I'm waiting for her to get the chance to vent some major rage over the betrayal of our country in regard to our brave gay & lesbian soldiers in the military. That betrayal isn't just a nebulous idea out there, it's personal to every one of those men and women—and extends right down to their friends, family and collegues. At least she still has the love of a hot girl like Alice, even if Tasha still hasn't quite come to terms with herself yet.

Last but not least, finally there is something to cheer about regarding the endless bullshit of the Jenny Schecter (Mia Kirshner) storyline. A stalker! Okay, so she might seem like a nice, bookworm-ish girl who loves literature. But I know, somewhere inside there, a dangerous, obsessive psycho is waiting to be born.



Maybe having some little crazy biatch come after her in a Single White Female confrontation might just shake Jenny loose from her narcissistic spiral into stupidity. One can only hope.