Papi: Yo, Vanilla.
Shane: Yo, Pops.
Papi (to Shane): Now that you're in my solar system, I can't have you
dimming my stars and shit.
Papi: Like the Foxy Lady said, I'm just kidding.
Alice: Wow. Whew! Cool your jets there, Phyllis.
Alice (to Phyllis): You're gonna wear me out, woman. I swear to God. I'm
gonna need a little pinch hitter, right?
Alice: You are wild, Phyllis.
Jenny (to the vet): You're kind of sexy. God, and you have nice tits. And
you're sweating under your arms, and you're nervous. And I want to kiss you.
Vet: What are you studying?
Jenny: The gentle manatees of Northeast Florida.
Tina (about Hazel): She is so fired.
Shane: He has a playdate with his friend.
Bette: Nice! That's probably the last word on earth I expected to be uttered
from your lips.
Helena: That's a little close to the bone.
Alice: More like sucking on the marrow.
Shane: Please, you're beautiful. I don't think you need to worry about that.
Paige: Are you hitting on me?
Alice: Oh no, just call me Alyse, the bisexual fashion victim. I'm sorry, is
my hat too much?
Jenny: A little.
Alice: Wait, is this a lesson on writing from Jenny Schecter. Let me get a
pen.
Alice: There's this character called "Shawn", Shane. And she's a makeup
artist, and she sleeps with a lot of women.
Shane: That's not bad.
Bette: My, my, you cleaned up nice.
Jodi: Thanks, I can't say the same for you.
Bette (adressing the interpreter): Tom, so nice to see you.
Tom: Thank you
Bette: (adressing Jodi) Did you just insult me.
Jodi: You're always so very clean, I can't imagine you being dirty at all.
Bette: I've been plenty dirty.
Jodi: Hmm, I have a hard time picturing that. Sorry, I don't know, just
maybe a fetching little smudge right about... (moves to touch Bette's face)
Bette: (Stopping Jodi's hand) Dirtier.
Jodi: Let's get stoned. Then we can laugh at them.
Bette: I can't do that. I can't.
Papi: Ladies! This is my girl Tasha.
Papi: Tasha meet Alice, Jenny and Vanilla.
Shane: I'm Shane.
Papi: Vanilla. Cause she's like me, except in another flavor.
Shane: Right.
Tom: C'mon Dean. None of that Clintonian shit now. Inhale.
{As Papi swoops in and steals the girl from Shane}
Shane: Merry Christmas, Papi.
Papi: Thank you, Shane.
Shane: That's...that's a cute hat...
Jenny (upon seeing Stacey Merkin): Okay, just look casual. look like
nothing's happening.
Jenny: She's with the red mom t-shirt.
Jenny: Oh my god, you've gotta distract them because I don't want them
coming over to me. Will you kiss me? Please kiss me.
Alice: No! I don't kiss girls who wear doilies.
Jenny: I beg you. I beg you. I will buy you Starbucks for a week.
Jenny: Can you kiss me. Please kiss me. Okay, go. Ready. One, two, three.
Bette: This party is much better than I thought it would be.
Jodi: You're much naughtier than I thought you would be.
Products/Services/People pimped in this episode:
The Whole Lesbian Sex Book,
Starbucks,
Apple iPod, Here
Lounge,
TOAST
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