Alice: "Are you gonna go, Shane?"
Shane: "Uh, I haven't decided yet."
Alice: "Oh come on, when's the last time you missed a club opening."
Jenny: "It's gonna be torture for her."
Shane: "I didn't say that. I just said I hadn't decided. That's all."

(Bette finds out Tina slept with Brenda on the first date)
Bette: "No!"
Jodi: "OW! What the fuck, Bette?"

Bette: "I don't know, I just think we should sign Angelica up for self-defence class."
Tina: "Let's just wait til she gets out of the stroller first."

Kit: "What if this motherfucker has a gun?"

Alice: "I think Summer likes you."
Shane: "Would you please shut the fuck up? God, frickin mouth."
Alice: "Has anybody seen Shane's vagina, 'cause I think she dropped it somewhere."

Tina: "She's not fuckable!"

Jenny: "You have a small dick!"
Producer: "How does she know how small my dick is?!"

Kit: "She's a hottie."
Shane: "That's NOT why I'm playing this game."

Alice: "C'mon, what's the point of going to a secret love party without my secret love?"

Shane: "That I love."
Jenny: "Why?"
Shane: "Because it's see-through."

Jenny: "Can I have a Nicorette?"

Jenny: "I got a present! I'm so excited, I love presents so much. Nobody gives me presents."

Jenny: "Oh my God, this is so expensive. I could buy a house ... in Cambodia, with this watch."

Jenny: Why are you looking at me like that? Stop leering."

Shane: "Jesus Christ, it's like South Beach threw up."

"There's some girl out front, says she's a director. Says she wants to put She Bar in a movie."
Shane: "Guess who."
Bette: "That would be Jenny."

Alice: "So everyone here is on the DL, like us. I hope we see some famous closet cases - it would be fun!"

Alice: "I hope we see Matthew. Or Beyonce, that would be fun."
Tasha: "Beyonce's not gay, Alice."
Alice: "Oh come on, you don't know. A girl can dream."
Alice: "I hope we see something scandalous, though."

OurChart: My Blog "Transgender"
Grace: "You have 17 messages already."
Max: "That's nothing. I think Alice gets like 50 in the first hour that she posts."

OurChart #2: "Guestbians"
Another plug of OurChart and their contents.

Velvetpark:
Officer: "What's VelvetPark?"
Alice: "It's a magazine."

OurChart #3: The Chart
Officer: "It's like a low-tech version of what you have on your lesbian website."

Girl Bar: Robin & Sandy
She bar: Dawn & Cindy

OurChart #4: Podcast (seriously, again?)
"You're very entertaining with your Podcasts."

Kit: "It's so important to support women's businesses."

Grace & Max: It's wrong for lesbians to dis trans men.

* "She Bar" is obviously a copy of "Girl Bar" in L.A. owned by Robin Gans and Sandy Sachs.

* Adele: "She quit smoking.." Since when has Jenny smoked?

* How does Alice know "famous, closeted people?" Is Alice "famous" and nobody told us?

* Jenny spits her gum out twice.