Spanish music plays. We pan in on a man standing representing the Christ
figure. He's surrounded by three (wise?) men. His arms are outstretched,
hands palm up. As we move down we realise the Christ's robes are open.
In front of him is a naked woman on all fours, moving backwards and forwards
in front of Christ, as if being penetrated by him from behind. Her face
seems not just passive but almost blank while she's performing this act.
As the camera moves further we realise this panorama is being captured on
video. This work is an embodiment of the argument going on about the line
between pornography and art.
<titles>
Alice is lying in bed spooned by Lisa. She's attempting in vain to throw his
arm off so she can get up to go pee. Reluctantly he peels himself off her
but only after her assurance that she's coming back. Alice throws him a
weirded out look as she goes. He's behaving more like a lez than any lesbian
she knows!
Bette’s making coffee in the kitchen when Tina rushes in. She needs Bette to
move her car so the guys delivering the birthing tank can get through.
Birthing tank? Bette asks. What birthing tank? Tina and her midwife have
apparently decided that Tina is going to give birth in water at home without
telling Bette. Of course, Bette wants to know how she could make a decision
like this without asking her. Tina says she didn't want to bother Bette with
the details, but for now she just wants her to move her car. Bette looks
perturbed.
A black suited dude opens the door to a stretch limousine to let Kit inside.
Hip hop music blares out. Inside she finds Slim Daddy and a few of his
posse, all lounging around. As soon as Kit is in the car Slim Daddy starts
in on his flirtation routine. Kit is too wise in the ways of the biz to fall
for any of his talk.
Slim offers Kit one of the many fruit smoothies they've picked up on the
way. He takes the straw and insists on holding it for her to drink from.
She's starting to look a bit agitated and when he asks how she likes it she
says she'd like it better if she could hold it herself. The posse all grin
and chuckle, while Slim looks put out.
Dana cuddles her cat. She's still depressed over the coming out to the
parents thing. She explains to Mr Piddles first how Lara was gay, and how
she is too. Mr Piddles looks unconcerned. I'm sure we're all relieved to
find out Mr Piddles isn't homophobic. It's hilarious. Dana hugs Mr Piddles
as if he's her last friend in the world, which isn't true because one of her
human friends is downstairs that moment letting herself in. Dana looks
puzzled and a bit alarmed. She hides herself under the covers as if she’s
expecting a murderer to come up the stairs.
Moments later Alice appears demanding that Dana get out of bed. Alice throws
off Dana’s quilt which dislodges Mr Piddles onto the floor. She’s apologetic
to the cat, but not at all easy on Dana. Dana whines but Alice is unmoved.
Some people have worse problems, she insists, some people are dating lesbian
men. Dana just stares, as if trying to decide if Alice has a point or not.
Bette stares intently at the video of the Christ figure making love to the
woman on her knees, the first obvious tie-in to this week’s prologue. She's
captivated by it and tries to interpret it. Bette thinks the woman is
longing for faith so much she’d do anything to find it. James her assistant
doesn't quite buy Bette’s interpretation but he's awestruck by how into it
Bette seems to be so he just agrees. She loves this piece passionately.
Just as we cut away from the video the Christ figure orgasms inside the girl
and doubles over. It is really quite intense. A flower delivery guy walks in
looking for Bette. He hands over a vase of white orchids with no card. They
aren't from Tina, Bette says, she's into practical gift giving.
James asks who they're from but the guy doesn't know. His gaze is drawn to
the video. He asks if that's meant to be art. Bette says it isn't meant to
be, it is art. He mumbles that Penthouse and Hustler seem to be printing a
lot of art lately then too. James cracks up. Bette is annoyed and orders
James to make sure the delivery guy leaves the building. We cut back to the
work - the woman is kneeling on the pedestal, still naked, sobbing
uncontrollably.
Alice has managed to drag a morose Dana out to The Planet. Even the huge
iced chocolate sitting in front of her does no good. Alice picks up Dana's
mobile phone and starts making a call. It's the old refrigerator crank call.
She says the first line and then hands it to Dana, who cracks the first
smile of the day and finishes the prank. Then in horror she realises Alice
has called her mother. She juggles the phone in shock then hangs up. If
looks could kill.
Alice insists she has to talk to her mother or how else will she know if the
woman is coming around? The phone rings back and Alice answers it. She
apologises for the prank and hands the phone to Dana. Dana has one of those
one-sided, impossible-to-get-a-word-in conversations with her mother then
she abruptly hangs up. Turns out that not only is her mother in serious
denial but she's set Dana up on a blind date with the son of one of her
friends! Dana may as well have come out to a block of wood. Alice comments
that's better than shock therapy. Dana looks like she's one wisecrack away
from having Alice committed.
Shane is on her way out to get coffee when her boss calls her back in.
Cherie Jaffe, the career-making woman, is her six o'clock and she doesn't
like to be kept waiting. Shane looks unimpressed. The woman herself is
parked out front. Her personal assistant comes in first making Shane sign a
waiver about what Shane absolutely must not use on Cherie's hair. Shane
signs it and she and Cherie size each other up for the first time.
Kit is rehearsing the video and it's obvious she isn't a professional
dancer. She's constantly one step behind her backing dancers and just
getting tired. Bette watches from the sidelines. Slim Daddy asks if Bette is
a fan or just watching? Bette explains she's Kit's half sister. Slim Daddy
speculates, is she the beautiful half? Bette replies, more like the gay
half. It doesn't have the intended effect. Slim just seems turned on by her
being a lesbian.
Kit comes over and gives Bette a hug. She thinks making this video is going
to kill her. Slim suggests to Bette she might want to bring a whole bunch of
her lesbian friends next time to bring some excitement into the video. She
thinks he's joking but he's serious. As he leaves, Bette comments that he
lives up to his rep as a ladies man.
Cherie issues orders to her PA while Shane sizes up the hair situation.
Cherie says to call Gwynnie and get three tickets to Coldplay for her
daughter Clea. Funny! Nice in joke about Kate Moennig being Gwyneth's
cousin. Anyway, Shane is wearing glasses and looking very sexy. She asks
Cherie what she wants. Cherie says she wants a change - something new. It's
interesting that these two already have some chemistry. Cherie sends her PA
off on errands and Shane gets to work.
For some reason Jenny has accepted a dinner invitation from Francesca and
Marina. She arrives looking actually very classic and sexy. Francesca serves
up Italian wine and Jenny takes a delicate sip. They're already sizing each
other up. Marina shuffles around in the background making dinner, in leather
pants no less. Jenny throws her a long, sensuous look which Marina almost
returns but she's a bit timid with Francesca in the room. It’s quite odd
seeing Marina not dominating the scene. Her relationship with Francesca
obviously changes her personality quite a bit.
At the salon Cherie asks how Shane met Harry. Shane is coy, just says
through a friend. Cherie thought Harry was crazy for recommending Shane at
first but then she saw Ellie Zimmer at a benefit and that woman hasn't
looked good in twelve years, so she had to admit Shane was talented. She
asks how Shane got Harry to fall in love with her? Shane just replies that
she didn't sleep with him and flashes that huge Shane smile.
Over pasta, Jenny agrees with Francesca that the Gift of the Magi is one of
the most perfect stories ever written. Francesca talks about the economy of
language in the story and how the show should be a hit and travel to London
and New York because there were some extraordinary people involved. Marina
asks if Francesca is talking about herself. Marina is being a tad petulant
tonight.
Marina mentions that the Prima Ballerina was apparently extraordinary.
Francesca says she was pretty terrific, practically daring Marina to bring
up their affair. Marina can’t resist. Francesca accuses Marina of pretending
to be jealous. Marina thinks the affair was unethical. Jenny looks on, the
candlelight emphasises the almost-sorrow in her face.
Jenny takes up the conversation, saying ethical isn't the first word she
thinks of when she thinks about Marina. Francesca agrees but says that
beauty compensates for a multitude of sins. Marina can't believe she's being
talked about like she isn't in the room. Jenny tries to keep eating with the
huge knot that is obviously forming in her throat. Francesca is really going
all out to mark her territory.
Cherie is on the phone to Harry raving about Shane's work almost before
Shane's finished. She continues raving all the way downstairs and out the
door, leaving Shane a $200 tip. Despite being his star attraction, Shane
still takes crap from her boss after Cherie leaves.
Francesca heads upstairs briefly after the meal. Marina and Jenny are close
enough now to speak without being heard. Their eyes are intense. Marina
starts, saying it's been difficult to get Jenny out of her mind. Jenny wants
to know why she's saying that when she's so cold it's obvious she doesn't
feel anything. As usual Jenny's right off the mark. What Marina feels is
pretty clear in her face. Marina insists Jenny just isn't paying attention.
That's the only way she could be so clueless as to how Marina feels about
her. Jenny barely lets her finish the sentence before she pounces, pulling
Marina's face down for a desperate kiss. Marina resists at first then lets
Jenny kiss her. Her arms almost close around Jenny when Francesca busts them
in the act.
Francesca gets nasty. She reveals that Marina has a gift for making you feel
like you're the only one who exists so it's easy to fall in love with her.
But she makes it clear that Marina always comes home again and tells what
happens. She asks about Jenny's demon story to illustrate the point. Marina
is the only person who has read it, yet Francesca knows even that little
detail. Jenny's eyes are opened. The two of them compare notes on their
conquests. Francesca points out that Jenny isn't exactly an innocent
bystander. Jenny takes the wine she brought (that Francesca snubbed), gives
a parting glance to Marina and prepares to leave.
Francesca has to have the last word. She explains the situation. When she's
away Marina can do whatever she likes, but when she comes home she expects
her home to be exactly as she left it. That's Marina's prison. It's also
Marina's support mechanism. Jenny's already disgusted with the whole thing
so her expression doesn't change much at this news. Francesca hands Jenny
her purse and her jacket and the evening is over. Marina hasn't moved a
muscle since Francesca started speaking - she stands holding her arms
crossed tightly across her body as if she would rather be anywhere but right
there at that moment.
Outside Jenny walks off. As an afterthought she throws the bottle of wine
angrily at one of the sliding glass doors. The bottle shatters, spilling
wine out over the glass. Marina runs to the door and catches a glimpse of
Jenny as she leaves.
Tim is watching an old kung fu movie when Jenny comes in. It's the next day.
She's bringing in cleaning stuff from her studio. He offers her a seat on
the couch. They sit together watching the film for a while and he invites
Jenny to snuggle closer. She accepts his offer gratefully. Soon he has his
arm around her. She looks frightened and very small. She tells him how much
she loves him and snuggles into his chest. He can't resist her and leans
down to kiss her gently.
She responds hungrily, climbing on top of him. He picks her up and carries
her upstairs (how light is she?) They don't quite make it to the bed, they
end up fucking against a cabinet in the bedroom. It's nasty, hungry, quick
sex that they both obviously think they need but will probably just make
everything worse. For a moment Tim holds Jenny back from him, searching her
face as if trying to make up his mind about something. Then they move and
continue making love on the bed.
Bette and Tina have a deep conversation lying on their bed. Tina asks if
Bette is mad that she made a decision. Bette says no, but she feels a little
left out. Tina says that the safe and loved feeling she usually gets from
Bette is gone right now and she's trying to concentrate on herself and not
get scared by it. After that statement it is Bette that looks scared by it.
After her admittance to herself in therapy that she might be falling out of
love we know Tina is right.
Tim and Jenny lie in bed in the aftermath. Jenny starts off the conversation
and says she loves being there with Tim, waking up next to him. He looks
sceptical. Exactly what decision did he come to while they were screwing?
Jenny says it's over between her and Marina. She describes the relationship
between Marina and Francesca, getting angry again. One gets the feeling she
might have been better off not mentioning it.
Tim doesn't look impressed, he just gets up. When she asks what he's doing
he explains that he took a giant step backwards by sleeping with her. He
does not want to get back together again. He doesn't even know who she is.
(The very sentiment Jenny keeps throwing at Marina.) Tim explains to Jenny
what everyone else knows - that she more than holds her own in the
manipulation department. She needs to see how much she is just like these
people she says she dislikes. She can't just wash off what's she's become.
Jenny is devastated but vows when he’s gone that she’s not going to
apologise any more.
Bette, Tina, Alice, Shane and Dana are in Bette's convertible. They rock up
to the studio where Slim Daddy is doing his video. Lisa calls Alice on the
phone and doesn't accept Tina's explanation that Alice isn't there,
apparently Lisa can hear her breathing. Tina can't argue with that and hands
the phone over. Alice talks to him for a while and then Shane has a turn,
explaining to him that he has to stop being such a lesbian or he'll chase
the girls away. It's so weird it's funny.
The guards check their IDs but they're not on the list. Apparently Kit
forgot to leave their names at the gate. Slim Daddy has pulled in behind
them and one of his posse gets out and asks what the problem is. He explains
that Bette is Slim's business manager, Tina is Slim's accountant, Alice is
his PR lady, Dana is his white lady (her look is priceless) and Shane just
came along for the ride. The guard looks unconvinced but he caves in to the
joke and offers to set them up with some visitor passes.
Bette gets invited back to ride with Slim Daddy to discuss his “business
affairs”. Bette insists on bringing his accountant (Tina) along. It's all
very wrong. Bette and Tina end up in the limo with Slim Daddy and Bette
explains that Tina is her life partner. Slim Daddy finally gets that. He
asks if Kit would be interested or is Kit with a chick too? Bette says no,
Kit's straight. Slim goes ooops, Kit isn't going to like what's been set up
for her video shoot then.
Inside during the shoot. Everyone stands around and watches Kit, clad in
black leather, dancing with three gorgeous chicks who've been told to throw
themselves all over her. Kit looks really uncomfortable like she has no idea
what's going on. Alice digs it, she's grooving with the music. Shane has
camped herself in Slim Daddy's chair. Bette feels responsible for the girls
clawing Kit. She was the one who gave Slim Daddy the impression Kit was gay.
Alice tries out the dance the girls are doing. Dana enlightens Alice to her
zero sense of rhythm. Shane concurs. Slim Daddy finally kicks Shane out of
his chair.
Kit halts production on the video. She can't do this concept, it just isn't
her. She promised she would never make a fool out of herself again. The
clothes, the girls, they all make her feel like a fool. Slim Daddy admits it
was his fault. He thought this was her thing. The director interrupts and
says he has to keep shooting. Unreasonably Slim Daddy shoos him off and
tells him to come up with new concept like it was all his fault in the first
place. Bette and Kit put their arms around each other and chuckle about it.
Shane is back in the salon. Cherie Jaffe's PA is there waiting to make a
special after-hours appointment for Shane at Cherie's house that evening.
Shane accepts hesitantly, like she can't believe it. The PA is grateful. The
salon's receptionist shares a giggle with Shane over the whole thing.
Bette is approaching the CAC. Protestors have stuck signs and banners to the
museum windows. There's a handyman there trying to scrape them all off the
glass. James has figured out that the people responsible for the latest
protests are a group calling themselves the Coalition for Concerned
Citizens. They've been tracking the show since New York protesting
everywhere, but they're getting really serious about LA because LA is the
capital of filth and degradation. The group even sent the CAC pamphlets on
themselves and their motives. Bette just wants to know who runs them and who
funds them. She's getting ready for battle.
Shane is right on time to Cherie Jaffe's house. She goes upstairs to
Cherie's bedroom. Cherie is dressed in a robe, stockings, heels and not much
else. She poses at the top of the stairs, inviting Shane up. When Shane
offers to do what she did last time, Cherie says she was hoping for a little
more. Shane looks confused until Cherie makes her intentions clear. A little
more… Cherie wants her, bad. Shane is all too willing to comply.
Lisa and Alice are at The Planet. Lisa is trying to get Alice to drink
something icky and green. Apparently it'd be good for her, she's constantly
complaining about feeling sluggish. Alice objects but Lisa continues saying
he thinks she brings her fatigue with her into the bedroom. Apparently Alice
hasn't been holding up her end of the deal. He also suggests she cut out the
red meat. It's obvious by the look he gets from Alice that whatever charm
the LIM had has long been used up.
Dana arrives for her date, looking gorgeous as usual. The guy in question,
Andrew, is immediately taken by her. Alice takes up a strategic position
behind Dana and her date. It looks like she's planning on eavesdropping. It
all happens fast. Dana does what she thought she could never do - she tells
the guy she's gay, just like that. Not even a threesome is possible, she
says. She would just want the girl. She's that gay.
Andrew holds up well. Dana gets up, says goodbye, tag teams Alice who moves
in for the kill. She asks Andrew if he has any sexual ambiguity? A hidden
vagina? Shades of grey in his orientation? Not Andrew, he a nice, clean,
straight man. By this stage I'm laughing so hard I find it hard to feel
sorry for Lisa who Alice has just kinda dumped on the spot.
Lisa asks Dana if Alice is flirting with Andrew. Dana just says yes and is
flying too high on her own personal accomplishment to really care for Lisa's
feelings - not that Dana ever really did care much for Lisa. Lisa looks
heartbroken as Alice proceeds to pick Andrew up, presumably for that no
strings attached, hetero-bonking she's been craving.
Shane is apparently just as impressive in the bedroom as she is cutting
hair. But then, as the group's lothario she's certainly had practice. She's
fucking Cherie's brains out and Cherie can't wait to tell Harry all about
the extra service Shane is providing. Cherie's husband comes home suddenly
and Shane has to hightail it with her clothes to the bathroom and pretend
there's been nothing going on.
Cherie's mussed up hair is explained to the husband as the "just fucked
look" (oh dear). The look certainly works for him. Shane pretends to be
cleaning things in the bathroom, we can hear the running water. The husband
is so impressed with Shane's work that not only does he follow Shane out
(which is good work since she's practically sprinting for the door) but he
gives her a mega tip for her trouble. He explains the tip as gratitude for
making Cherie so attractive even he wanted to bang her right there. Shane's
trembling, she just wants out of there.
Bette underlines a name in the protester's literature. Fae Buckley, their
organiser. James walks in and delivers a bunch of kids books Bette obviously
loved as a child. She wants them to read to the baby. Bette is also late for
a doctor's appointment with Tina. She asks James to gather all the info and
have it ready for her in the morning.
On her way out she runs into someone who asks if Isabel Pernod's work has
arrived at the museum yet. Bette says she's not at liberty to say. The woman
is persistent - but they're expecting the work? The one blaspheming Jesus
Christ? Bette realises she's dealing with yet another protester. One who
refers to her by name, even though she pretended not to know her at first.
The protester gives her an absurd third degree, even asking her if she has
children. Bette says some things in defence of herself and of the work.
Finally the woman says thank you and goes on her way oddly pleased. Bette
figures out that she's speaking to Fae Buckley. I've got a bad feeling about
this. Fae was apparently also the one who sent her the flowers, to say
"nothing personal".
Alice has picked up Andrew. He's in her apartment, attempting to fulfil her
mandate of simple boy/girl sex with no complications. Lisa knocks on the
door. He's not going away. Alice is annoyed. She might have to ask Andrew to
leave while she sorts things out with Lisa. Andrew looks like he's having a
very bad day.
Lisa comes in, irate. When Alice says Lisa’s name Andrew gets the wrong idea
and thinks his parents named him that. Andrew tries to tell Lisa to take it
easy but Lisa claims he's Alice's lesbian lover and then everything really
gets confused. Alice looks mortified. Andrew's pretty sure that means the
whole situation just got not worth it. Alice tries to explain that it's dyke
drama, you know how that is. Andrew says no, he doesn't. Clearly. This is
hysterical.
Andrew leaves and Lisa and Alice are left with their final confrontation. It
stops being funny. Alice crushes Lisa. She wants a lesbian who's a girl, or
a boyfriend who's straight. She can't deal with his complicated sexual
identity any more. It's just too hard. Poor guy looks totally wounded.
Bette arrives at the doctor too late. Tina has already left. The doctor is
left to deliver the bad news to Bette. The foetus has stopped thriving.
Bette's whole world goes into sharp focus. Literally, check that focus
pulling to make the world seem like it's hitting her in the face. She can't
believe it. The fact that this is quite common in first time pregnancies is
no comfort for her.
Bette hurries home where she assumes Tina will be. Tina is curled up on the
bed, her body cradling her womb, sobbing for her lost child. Bette comes in
to hold her but doesn't cry. Tina does all the crying for them both. We
watch them through the window like stalkers, holding each other.
Then it's clear - it isn't just us watching, there’s someone else. There are
people actually outside the house. There is some loud banging outside, like
hammering. Bette lets Tina go to check who it is. Protesters are hammering a
huge sign into the front lawn of their house. Bette goes postal on the
protesters, shoving their cameras and pulling the sign out of the ground and
shoving it at them. She screams out if Fae Buckley ever tries anything like
this again she'll regret it.
The protesters yell once more she's going to hell before scampering off.
Bette stands in the front yard, adrenalin pumping, more angry and more sad
than she's probably ever been in her life. She sways for a moment as if
everything will just overwhelm her, then she slowly picks her way back
through the trees to the front door. She walks in, closes the door and pulls
down the shutters. Once inside she fights back tears, takes a deep breath
and heads back in to Tina to pretend to be the strong one.
<fade to black>
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