The term lipstick lesbian was, I believe,
coined in the early '90s, and as far as I'm concerned, it was an extremely
backhanded compliment to lesbians from our friends in the media. It
basically said, "Look, world! Lesbians aren't ugly anymore!" And they were
wrong--some of us were still as hideous as ever. These days I don't hear the
term very often, but many of the ladies are still wearing lipstick. (Well,
in actual fact, lipstick is pretty passé lately. I usually go more with a
liner/gloss look, but that really doesn't have the same ring: "Lip liner
lesbian" is just confusing.) But the lesbians with something on their lips
other than ChapStick are now pretty much called "femmes." That's in my
circle of friends and acquaintances, anyway. In West Hollywood there seem to
be more lipstick-type lesbians--not afraid of a few highlights and some girl
jeans--girls who would balk at the butch/femme dichotomy. The ladies on the
east side are wearing lipstick too, but they are more likely to be tattooed
transplants from San Francisco.
These are all sweeping generalizations, of course, and I will be shunned for
them. One of the biggest complaints I hear from lesbians about the
television show The L Word (for which I write and perform) is that the women
on the show are all so girly and un-gay-looking. "Where's the big old
truck-driving tattooed dyke?" one woman stood up and asked at a panel
discussion with the creative team of the show. "I don't know any women who
look like those women!" Guilty and nervous, I went out to prove to myself
that there are lesbians in the world who look like our characters. I
figured, Lord knows, if they were anywhere, they would be in Los Angeles. I
have taken so much flak over the past year for the way the women on The L
Word look that I am pleased to report there are many Los Angeles lesbians
who look like the women on our show. Are they as gorgeous as Jennifer Beals
and Erin Daniels? Of course not: Who is? But when I walked into Mark's
restaurant on a Wednesday night (so not usually my scene) I thought to
myself, Ha! I'll bet the average dude who doesn't know any lesbians wouldn't
realize he was at a lesbian night. These chicks are girling out!
"Where the hell are all the good butches?" my lipstick-wearing,
cleavage-showing friend has been known to say, throwing her hands up. "I
hate L.A!" Indeed, if androgynous women are the objects of your desire,
L.A.'s not the best mating ground. Even women who look like they could fix
your car and build you a cabin might still be wearing lipstick. It's just
the way L.A. is.
I wouldn't say that there is one specific "lipstick lesbian" scene or
hangout in L.A. The fact of the matter is that women who don't wear lipstick
are often attracted to women who do, and therefore there is a lot of
mingling. Personally, I am an almost compulsive wearer of lipstick, but if
you call me a lipstick lesbian, I might have to punch you.
ESSENTIALS
Oasis (611 N. La Brea, 323-939-8900) on Tuesday nights--a kind of neo-Middle
Eastern decor with high ceilings and cool light fixtures. Flattering
lighting, and music that's not so loud you have to yell. Good tapas-like
food, outdoor patio where you can drink and smoke at the same time (so rare
in L.A.). Get there early if you want to sit--it gets crowded. For a more
professional, sit-down kind of experience--Mark's restaurant (861 La Cienega
Blvd., 310-652-5252) is where very grown-up acting lesbians dine every other
Wednesday. The atmosphere is civilized and subdued--American nouvelle-ish
food (very tasty) and a mellow DJ in the corner. For just cocktails, there's
the old standby Normandie Room (8737 Santa Monica Blvd., 310-659-6204),
which is lesbian every night. No food here, just a nice-looking bar with
many windows and the ultimate lesbian flirtation tool--a pool table. Fun
stuff is usually playing on the TV above the bar, and smoking is just a step
away in front of the place. It gets pretty damn crowded on weekends, so
prepare to order a drink you can be jostled with or risk wearing your
martini. For a totally different vibe, stop by Cheetahs (4600 Hollywood
Blvd., 323-660-6733), a strip club that is very lesbian-friendly. It's not
teeming with lesbians, but it's always a good time if you like that kind of
thing. While it's not officially a lesbian place, Murakami (8730 Santa
Monica Blvd., 310-854-6212) is so chock-full of lesbians all the time I've
taken to calling it "Lesbian Sushi." The environment is cute and casual, the
food is delicious, and the outdoor patio is lovely (although they don't let
you smoke anymore). The only negative thing about the place is that you
might run into your ex-girlfriend. Little Joy Cocktails (1477 Sunset Blvd.,
213-250-3417) happens on Sunday nights. The lesbians here are less
professional looking and more artistically inclined. Palms (8572 Santa
Monica Blvd., 310-652-6188) is fun for karaoke on Monday nights but might
scare you with its free 12-foot sub sandwich on Sunday afternoons. Jewel's
Catch One (4067 W. Pico Blvd., 323-737-1159) has a predominantly
African-American clientele and is one of the few lesbian places where there
is dancing. Akbar (4356 Sunset Blvd., 323-665-6810) is a great neighborhood
bar with both gay male and lesbian clientele. Thursday nights at Here Lounge
(696 N. Robertson Blvd., 310-360-8455) are for girls who like girls--and
sake, as a special sake bar is set up.
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